I have written on Talulazoeapple about fears before, I think. I have also been attempting to overcome most of my (irrational) ones.
I still have left to conquer my fear of dating. It's not like I am cowering in a corner at the thought of it. I just allow my doubts to keep me from trying to connect with someone.
I could just blame all of this on my mother. Parents are easy scapegoats, but it's me.
I figured like most things in life, if I write it down, visualizing my fears I can conquer them.
10. Men are dogs – You have heard this one many a time. I don't think all men are dogs but most have a propensity toward canine behavior. LIL To deal, you need a trainer's license and a rabies shot.
9. Men lie – Truth be told everyone lies in a little. I may wear a padded bra . . .or not, whose asking?To date one must be willing to play a little I Spy from time to time.
8. At my age, all of the good ones are taken - I know this cannot be true, after all there are 5.7 billion people on earth. Surely there has to be one heterosexual, disease-free, educated, professional with no baby momma's or mental illnesses man with all of his teeth. Just one is all I need.
7. Marriage is passe – With Oprah leading the pack of professional women who have these "spiritual unions" (followed by Halle Berry), many are negating the importance of holy matrimony. I would just like to tell all these women, keep it real. Ya'll are way richer than your boyfriends and wanna keep that money right. LOL You ain't fooling me!
6. Every unmarried man over thirty is on the down-low – Lord why did Oprah do that show on down-low brothers. I swear, I think every guy, I mean every guy I meet has a secret. **in Wendy Williams voice** How you doin'? Irrational? IDK. Watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta has refueled this particular one. Lord, help me to overcome. LOL
5. Once married men turn into control freaks – I know many a married man who wants to tell their wife when and where she can breathe. . .and they do it. Um. . .no. I am an easy going girl, I need an easy going guy. I will allow a man to be a man, just allow me to be. . .free.
4. I may change my mind – I know this is the craziest one but I have track record of losing interest in things and marriage is forever. Forever, ever? I had a cat once and the thing was soo smelly, I kicked it out of the house. It wandered into the parking lot and got hit by car. Can you see where I am going with this?
3. All men want is sex, sex, and more sex – This can't fly. I am a Christian that actually practices celibacy – for really, real. I always fear that a guy won't be interested in relationship where there is no nookie. I am not sure if this one is rational or irrational.
2. A man is supposed to find me – Lord, the perils of COGIC upbringing. Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord Proverbs 18:22. This scripture was always recited as an admonishment not to look for a man. You are supposed to let a man find you. This presents quite a conundrum for the single girl.
1. I am meant to be alone – When I was a little girl, I wanted to become a nun. No, really, I did but I was not Catholic. I thought I would dedicate my life to serving God and remain a virgin for life. Well that one did not pan out. Sometimes I think God (who according to my COGIC upbringing is a jealous God) wants me for Himself. I mean, really, who can compare to the Almighty. Or maybe it's like any father, He wants only the best for me. No ordinary, jack leg (my momma's phrase) will do. Maybe I am not meant to be alone but I meant to wait on God.
WOW. . .EPIPHANY!
6 thoughts on “My Top Ten (Irrational) Fears About Dating Men”
I’m your biggest fan! I think…
We share many of the same beliefs on this ! I’ve been married once. I thank God for that one oppurtunity because I don’t see it happening again! The whole gay man thing…is out of control and that’s enough to stop me….before I get to any of the other things…This world..This world!
Good Post Darling,
We share one more thing. . .insomnia. LOL
I am glad I got all of that out. I really feel like I’ve had an epiphany. Will keep the site updated if something unfolds in the love department.
I have the losing interest problem. Once I get something I want I tend to not want it. And then if someone else plays with it I want it back. So sad, so sad. I sound like a 3 yr old. Am I regressing?????
Aren’t we all locked into our inner child?
Step out of your norm, that is the best advice I can give. My husbands was sooooo not my type what I thought would be a passing summer fling has turned into 9 years and approaching five years of marriage. Trying is worth it. Best of luck to you dear.
Thanks, Kristin. I think I am open to who is meant for me. No more artificial barriers, ie, irrational fears.