The definition of vulnerable is capable of being wounded or hurt. Ouch! When you read something like that, who wants to be vulnerable? Women, especially, African American women, are taught to be strong and indestructible. The result of creating a wall of defense is that nothing can penetrate it. So you are strong, independent, and can't nobody tell you nothing. That is cool unless it is all a big lie. You have to open the door sometimes.
I am learning through introspection and interaction with friends that it is okay to need and be needed. It does not mean that you are weak because you can acknowledge to yourself that you would like someone to go though life with. Scratch that like, you NEED someone to go through life with. There are dreams you would like to fulfill and experiences that you would like to have. What do you gain by pretending that you really do not care about anything or anyone?
Often times, you can avoid many pitfalls by listening to the experiences of others. How would you ever listen to those experiences if you are so wrapped up in yourself that you will not offer a listening ear to someone else?
Even in love, if you never put yourself out there, e.i., be vulnerable, you will never reap the rewards of love. Even if it does not work out, you have gained a valuable experience. If you never even try, you will have gained nothing.
I wrote once before about having the opportunity to audition for a play. Prior to my actual audition, I had the opportunity to tryout for a musical. I chickened out. When the opportunity presented itself again, I went for it. I did not get the part but I got some great feedback from one of the producers and I gained a valuable experience. If a third chance comes around, you best believe that it is going to be mine.
My point is to open yourself up for new friends, love and life experiences. In the words of Anthony Hamilton, "The lonely never win."