*Repost* Being Vulnerable Is Not A Weakness

The definition of vulnerable is capable of being wounded or hurt. Ouch! When you read something like that, who wants to be vulnerable? Women, especially, African American women, are taught to be strong and indestructible. The result of creating a wall of defense is that nothing can penetrate it. So you are strong, independent, and can't nobody tell you nothing. That is cool unless it is all a big lie. You have to open the door sometimes.


I am learning through introspection and interaction with friends that it is okay to need and be needed. It does not mean that you are weak because you can acknowledge to yourself that you would like someone to go though life with. Scratch that like, you NEED someone to go through life with. There are dreams you would like to fulfill and experiences that you would like to have. What do you gain by pretending that you really do not care about anything or anyone?

Often times, you can avoid many pitfalls by listening to the experiences of others. How would you ever listen to those experiences if you are so wrapped up in yourself that you will not offer a listening ear to someone else?

Even in love, if you never put yourself out there, e.i., be vulnerable, you will never reap the rewards of love. Even if it does not work out, you have gained a valuable experience. If you never even try, you will have gained nothing.

I wrote once before about having the opportunity to audition for a play. Prior to my actual audition, I had the opportunity to tryout for a musical. I chickened out. When the opportunity presented itself again, I went for it. I did not get the part but I got some great feedback from one of the producers and I gained a valuable experience. If a third chance comes around, you best believe that it is going to be mine.

My point is to open yourself up for new friends, love and life experiences. In the words of Anthony Hamilton, "The lonely never win."


Why Is Life So Easy. . .

after the fact!?

Oh, I missed the turn. Should have turned left. The venue is right after the turn.

Such is my life.

You have to go though life's test and trials to gain the wisdom you need to make wise and sage decisions all. . .after the fact!

Why could not my future self have figured out all of these things concerning life, family, men and money in the future,wrote it on a tablet, built a time machine and sat it by my bed when I was 18? Would that have been so difficult?

At 18 – 20ish you really know everything and nothing all at the same time. Trying to explain to an adult the mentality behind your decisions at that age is a bit trippy. Why? Because I know all of the endings to those dumb decisions.

Dumb is a bit harsh, no? I would say uninformed or unwise decisions. I was a pretty precocious child, smart teenage, and astute young adult. When it came to life and love, however, I was Cher clueless. *insert 90s reference*

Been conversing with someone who knew me way back when. He remarked how much I had grown and developed. He stated how insightful my words are. I wanted to say, "of course they are, I am actually using words!" lol Back then, when things got to emotional, I would head for the hills. Or push someone away.

The key is not drowning in a sea of what-ifs and apparent overly-used metaphors. I can only move forward.

The tools I have gathered along this road – faith, education, friends, coping skills and words – all assist me in creating my best life right now.The biggest skill I have acquired is the art of confrontation. Learning to manage emotions, change and people in the face of confrontation is the key to long lasting successful relationships and business.

To those who join me in my life at this moment, the experience is going to be exponentially greater than with the me at 18. I only run on trails now.

The Art of Prayer

Prayer really does work so why do I forget to do it sometimes?

I used to pray a lot and about everything. I did not always get what I wanted but I always got an answer.

Lately, I have been very frustrated about things – my professional life, love life, finances. I kept thinking how in my own strength I could change these things. Until I had a FaceBook epiphany.

Yes, a FaceBook Epiphanyc – yes I just coined that phrase, copyright pending. This occurs when a level headed friend who is not familiar with your situation says something simple that seems to have been the evident answer you could not receive.


The friend just plainly responded, "Let's pray." Light bulb moment.

I immediately stopped what I was doing and prayed about the situation. Why fret and worry about others' actions that you cannot control? The bible says,

"1The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will." Proverbs 21:1

 I write all of this to say whether waiting to hear from a job, a friend, a loved one, prayer is still the best option. Each individual involved has their own mind and reasoning for doing things that you cannot control. I prayed for God's will in every area so that no matter what I will have peace about the situation. This even goes for my love life. I want God's will and direction for that, too.

It is time I spent more time practicing my art – the art of prayer.

While I Was Absent. . .

. . .some exciting things have happened.

My mom got married!!!!! I flew to Chicago, was her maid of honor, and sang at the wedding!!!

God is good.

Everything was so perfect. My mom was simply radiant. I don't think I have ever seen her that happy.

I have a few weeks left at my internship. Until then, I am actively seeking employment.

No new developments in the love life (or lack thereof), but I'm chilling.

What's been up with you guys?