The thought of the road not taken can haunt you unendingly without resolution. Just this constantly nagging, what if?
If you need to catch up, read this.
Long story short, I very rudely chose the very wrong guy over a very special friend. Said friend never spoke to me again for years.
I revisited the “what if” conundrum yesterday via FaceBook chat. Social Networking is a blessing and a curse. It’s even worse than email, I think.
So after a few lines of small chat, he jumps back into the, “What’s the guy’s name you pushed me away for?” So, I made a joke about having selective amnesia and tried to move forward. He kept at it. So I just wrote that if it made him feel any better that I really regret doing that. Technically, that is an apology, right?
One thing I am happy about is that I got to officially apologize for a situation though 10 years prior had obviously hurt a good friend’s feelings, so much so, he still brings it up after 10 years. I am such a nice person, too. Ah , the crazy things love can make you do! It is TOTALLY irrational.
There is time and distance between us and only memories of some good times that connect us. So, in the end, he is still around and not the guy I dissed him for, even if its’ only in the capacity of a friend.
I have come to the conclusion that where I am is the only place I can be. All things are working together for my good. And the road not taken is an illusion that no longer exists. What may or may not develop by this reconnection is supposed to happen exactly the way it will. No more looking back, I am ready to go forward.