Do Black Women Really Hate Their Hair?

Interesting topic suggestion brought up by my very own brother. We shall revisit the hair debate again.

The braiding, straightening and adorning of hair is all to make one feel good about oneself and/or to attract another person. I mean can we keep it real. So, what decision is best when the two goals become mutually exclusive.

Real conversation:

Me: When you straighten your hair, the heat can break the bonds just like a chemical. Then your hair won't revert back to curls.

Girl: I know, I know. Let me get married first.

Me: o_0

I have heard this more than once. The idea that a man (read: black man) does not like his woman's hair to be, dare I say it, NAPPY!

Real conversation:

Me: I don't understand the Rapunzel weaves. So much hair.

Guy: I don't understand why everyone wants to be natural all of a sudden.

Me: o_0

Do black women really hate their hair?

*insert Sheryl Underwood post*


Sheryl Underwood Disses Natural Hair On National TV

I have focused mainly of nutrition, health and weight loss in the past few weeks here on Then I happened upon this video of Sheryl Underwood, co-host on The Talk, making some very disparaging remarks about natural, afro hair.

Being someone with natural hair, I was near tears watching her spew such hurtful, self-hating comments while the audience laughed. Melissa Gilbert tries to save her but Sheryl is unrelenting in her comments.

Please watch the video. It is less that 1 minute long.




Is this okay?

It is so ironic that I get so many nice compliments about my hair now but now EVERYONE is natural. When I began about six years ago, it was less common to see a young black woman with her natural hair. I got so many UGLY comments from my family – the people who love me the most. I got the most kind comments from people of other nationalities or complete strangers.I have grown to adore my hair. I can think back as a child getting my hair braided and feeling so bad because of h0w 'difficult' my hair was to those attempting to do it. They were very vocal about it. Then there was the task of straightening my hair. I could not help cringing everytime that hot straightening comb came near to my scalp and ears.  Little by little those words – nappy, bad, coarse – seeped  into my little soul and I wished that my hair was like Marcia Brady's. She would brush her long locks exactly 100 times. Anyone remember that episode of the Brady Bunch? lol

BUT I was a child. As I grew up and learned about myself as a woman, I saw that my hair was just as beautiful as Marcia's. I learned to love my coils, curls, afro. When I see someone as mature as Sheryl Underwood hating their hair in such a way as this video suggests, I want to cry just like that little girl terrified of that fire-hot straightening comb.

I understand that the root of self-hate is deeper than an 1-minute video by a comedian. Sheryl Underwood is more than just a comedian. She is an African American woman with a very public, national forum holding up authentic, natural blackness for public ridicule.

Does anyone remember Don Imus?

I would hope that Sheryl Underwood would reflect on why she thought it was okay to ridicule black children in this manner. Upon that reflection, I would hope that she will make a public, national apology.

What do you think? Am I being to sensitive?


I Am Not My Hair but I’m Glad It Is There

lol. Some title, huh?

A very benevolent friend offered to clip my ends for me. She is natural like me and hair is always so fly. She straightens, trims and styles my hair beautifully.

I notice that my hair has grown quite a bit. Although natural, my hair was drying out and breaking off something terrible. I realized that my beloved Kinky Kurly products had alcohol on them. Yes, drying, make-your-hair-brittle-and-break alcohol. So maybe two months ago, I started usung Shea Moisture.


Me being the Facebook self-hpto taker that I am, I take some pics and post them.I am talking to a good friend and the topic turn my hair.

Friend: Your hair is your glory. Dom't ever cut your hair or you're gonna have one less friend.

Me: Really? Thanks but I would like to think that I am more than my hair.

Friend: Yes you are. . .plus if you do, it'll grow back.

Me: 0_O

What is it with men and hair? I guess I should poll the guys I know.Since, gowing natural about 4 years ago, I have heard some strange comments about my hair.

Mom: You look like you put your finger in a socket.

Sister: You need a perm or a hot comb.

Brother: Wearing your hair natural makes you look old.

With support like that, what is a girl supposed to do?

I will occasionally wear my hair straightened but I refuse to become a slave to my hair. I did have a momentary lapse. I wanted my hair to last at least through Sunday so I tried to avoide humidity and perspiration. Not an easy feat in 90 degree weather. I thought this is nuts. I want to swim, workout, walk in the rain whenever I feel like it. With my new fitness kick, I cannot be worried about my hair 'going back'. I did my 3 miles on the trail today and bid my Farra Fawcet hair good bye. A good wash and my curls were back. 

Today, I walk into the breakroom and this guy says, "Hey, I thought you got your hair done?"

Me: "I did but it was not meant to last."

Guy: "Oh, I thought you got a perm or something. I thought you were all like the natural sista."

Me: "I am. No perm, no going back."

It was nice while it lasted.

Does your hair keep you from working out?

Heat Damaged Hair – The 1 Week Repair Test

So I really needed my ends clipped BAD and I usually do it myself but I thought, girl treat yourself. So I had someone straighten and clip my ends. Beautiful cut, style – very BAD ENDS results.



The Straightened do.


The heat damage. Hair is straight near the roots and will not revert back to curls.

When flat irons are too hot they break the bonds in your hair that create the curling pattern, similar to a relaxer. Stylists unfamiliar with the natural mindset think that you want your hair to "last" and be "bone" straight. I wanted neither, I just wanted my ends clipped.

So now I need to repair my hair. I have been reading good things about almond oil and apple cider vinegar. So My experiment will be – apple cider and water rinse (instead of shampoo wash), almond/glycerin spray, and almond oil massage/ silk bonnet at night.

Since the straightening episode, which was a couple months ago, I have noticed hair shed. One week of this routine and I will update you on the results.

Recipes below:

1. Apple Cider Vinegar Rinse

1 cup apple cider vinegar

4-5 cups of bottled water

Rinse hair in the shower with water, detangle with wide tooth comb, add apple cider vinegar rinse, leave on a few minutes, then rinse with cool water. This seals the cuticle shaft and will help eliminate frizz. You will notice the results instantly as your hair will feel silkier.

2. Vegetable Glycerin and Water Spritz

1:4 or 1:5 ratio of vegetable glycerin to water

Place ingredients in a spray bottle and shake until glycerin is dissolved completely.

Spray after apple cider rinse, massage into hair, add almond oil to seal in moisture.


This is my first time using almond oil so I am opting to add it separately to my hair instead of adding it to the spritz.

Results in one week.

Heat Damage – Natural Hair

Being natural is rewarding and frustrating simultaneously.

My curls were not as buoyant as they had previously been so I decided to get my ends trimmed. I went to a hair stylist who shall remain nameless to have her straighten and clip my ends.I opted for heat straightening to get the most precise cut possible.

I must preface this by saying I do not go to hair salons because the typical mentality of a traditional hair stylist is the antithesis of my natural hair mentality. In my experience, traditional stylists think kinks, naps and curls are the devil and will do anything to get your stresses bone straight.

Needless to say, as always, the stylist over processed my hair. By over processed I mean used too much heat. A couple of times. I felt my hair adhering to the flat irons. Now I have a couple of straight spots that will not re-curl. This is a sign of heat damage.

The stylist was not bad. The cut and style were beautiful. It is just that the method was flawed and left me with slightly damaged hair.

I, now, need a non-heated technique to clip my ends. Will update when I find one that works.

I Bought A Wig and Named It Carmen

I am a natural girl. I AM a natural girl. I AM A NATURAL GIRL. . .but I have a confession to make. On Saturday night, I wore a wig out to an event. I am talking a big, bouncy curly Beyonce-esque wig.


Granted it was a pretty benign event. Not a real opportunity to whip my hair back and forth but I did get a wobble, wobble in.

Before the big wig event, I took my wig on a trial run. I wore it to work on Friday. I got some pretty good feedback and boost of confidence.

Christian dance

 It is a little peculiar how changing one aspect of your appearance can affect the totality of your look. I swear that hair took fifteen pounds off.

My new hair is a keeper. The hair gave me a pass to be a newer me.  In return,  I named it Carmen.


Natural Hair Is The Stuff That Grows From Your Follicles


Your hair does not have to cascade down in abundant shiny spirals or coils. It does not have to be in a perfectly coifed 'fro or fade.

If you go into a natural hair journey looking to achieve some "look" and not just to embrace a healthy hair regimen, you will fail. You will cry your tears of defeat and go running back to the creamy crack A.K.A "The Relaxer".

This woman made me laugh but also saddened me. She clearly has not learned to love her hair just as it is. This constant search for the right product to give you some elusive curl pattern is illusive.

Natural hair is about being. . .natural. PERIOD.

Nothing Like A Compliment. . .

. . .to give you that extra motivation to workout when you don't quite feel like it.

The other day at the gas station an older lady told me, "Can I borrow your legs? I just need them for Sunday."

I thought that was hilarious. Today a girl at work commented that since she started work five weeks ago I have gotten skinnier.

Later today, a guy I work with asked me why did I wear my hair straight for only a short period of time. I asked him why and he was like, "I liked it like that." So I told him, "It was fake." He was shocked. lol

My hair today was extra 'fro and all but who asked him to kill the mood. I know he meant it as a compliment but I like my natural hair. I hated the weave.

Anyway a compliment is a compliment. I'll take what I can get!

Another Hair Post – Carol’s Daughter

I am SO disappointed. I SO wanted to like this product line.

You may know the story. A woman made some concoctions in her kitchen for hair, started selling it, made it big. Now she has big-time sponsors, Jada, Mary J, Oprah – so I HAD to try it.

I ordered the Hair Milk, Hair Butter, and Herbal Mint Shampoo from Carol's Daughter.


OMG. The stuff reeks. I mean it smells like the girl in class whose hair wouldn't grow so her mother put that awful Sulfur 8 hair grease in her head. Then gym came and the poor girl started to sweat and, well, you know the rest.

It left my hair soooo oily and grimy looking. I cannot believe it. I wanted to try this over Miss Jessie's product line because Carol's Daughter has natural ingredients and Miss Jessie's uses petroleum. However, Miss Jessie's actually works and Carol's Daughter was a big disappointment. Plus she charges prices equivalent to Aveda brand and uses cheaper ingredients like corn oil. Who wants to use corn oil on their hair?

Maybe she makes products for people with relaxers because they don't work well with my natural hair.

Has anyone used CD and had a different outcome? Please share.