A Few Golden Kernals of Wisdom I Would Like To Impart To You

Dearest Readers,

  1. Please invest in a head-to-toe mirror.
  2. Get up a little extra for work.
  3. If you feel a breeze indoors, something ain't right.

Let me explain.

I work literally 7-10 minutes from my employer. Unfortunately for me, I have been getting up later and later. So I rush the hair and makeup, so what, right, I am only 7-10 minutes away.

Well, this one particular morning I was cutting it a bit too close. I rushed out of the house, heading into the building and then I run into the cutest guy in the world. He is making conversation as I enter the door. I am grinning and laughing. I get to my desk and pull out my compact only to see a big white streak of sunscreen across my face.

**In Dwight's voice** "How Dreadful?!?!"

It gets better folks. I was wearing a lace black skirt that has a lace satin slip underneath. This stupid dress kept getting caught on everything – my bracelets, the wall -everything.

I happen to feel a breeze or two. I go to the restroom to find a big rip in the satin right around my upper thigh area. Um, yeah, my big golden butt is exposed to the world. A clever maneuvering of my blouse kept me from returning home but still . . .

"How dreadful?!"

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