Art is subjective. It is the truest representation of beauty being in the eye of the beholder. One man’s art is another man’s trash. I can go on and on with the cliches. The use or misuse of cliches can also be seen as art. Art does not have to be perfect to be present. We all strive to put our best foot forward; however, if you wait until every “i” has been dotted, you could be waiting forever.
When I published my first novel, Ruth’s Awakening: A Love Story, I agonized over the roll-out not being perfect. There were mistakes made. Ironically, the mistakes taught me how to become a better writer, editor, and publisher. I have met many contacts in the literary world and garnered incredible opportunities. These opportunities never would have materialized if I had not published my book waiting on perfection.
Any form of waiting to act can easily morph into procrastination. Fear of failure can halt the creative process. Throw caution to the wind (cliche) and write, act, go to school, workout, learn a language – just freaking do it. The failures that come are a blessing if you learn the lesson.
Do not wait to become perfect. Act and then perfect the process.
A fairy tale is defined as a mythical tale featuring magical and fantastic creatures. There are heroic feats accomplished by ordinary humans who somehow found their inner strength after a long quest. Beautiful maidens are brought back to life by the kiss of a true love. In short, it is a made up tale in a make believe world with invented characters and creatures. They are written for children. As children, we still possess that wide-eyed faith that good wins over evil. We believe in happy endings.
As we age, we stop believing. Kissed too many frogs and they stayed ugly and slimy. Dropped all of our money on a handful of beans and a dream to wake up still broke with no golden goose egg. Disappointment and bad breaks lead to disillusionment.
I want you to believe again.
This is why I write. Have an eye-wide open faith in love, redemption and the happily ever after. It is hope that keeps us going. I write hope-filled love stories centered around Christian characters with real life issues. It is an un-sanitized look at imperfect people with a hope in a perfect God making mistakes, getting it wrong, and through the drama – finding redemption and a happy ending. The happy ending may not look like a prince on a horse but something a little unexpected.
I will keep writing and if, you will keep reading – we will get to our happy ending – together.
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Carmen watched the chunks of partially digested chicken cordon bleu slather the toilet bowl rim. She had overeaten again. No, she had binged. Step five in a book she had read on managing emotions stated to be brutally honest about one’s behavior. There were the lemon ricotta cookies from Ann’s Bakery store she had eaten. She had needed something to hold her over until dinner. Then, there was the bag of Cheetos she had grabbed at the gas station. At least, she had gotten a diet soda to wash them down. As she knelt scrubbing the splatter from the white tiled floor, Carmen was thankful she lived alone. How could she explain this disgusting habit she had developed after Warren had left?
Everybody leaves, she lamented.
Six years and hundreds of toilet bowl trips later, she still felt dizzy. Warren had sworn to her that he was faithful and that she could trust his words because he had no reason to lie. This circular logic spun round and round in her head like the Coriolis effect of every after-binge flush. She could not swallow the true pain of it all, so she binged. She ate to numb the crushing feeling in her chest. She ate until her stomach hurt and vomiting brought a sense of relief, a purge. She watched the remnants disappear into that white abyss.
Carmen knelt beside her bed and prayed to God. She sat in silent meditation awaiting an answer. She only heard the buzz of her central air blowing from the vented ceiling. She curled under the sheet and plopped her head down on the pillow. She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.
She was awakened by the symphonic tonality of a bell. The resonance distinctly resembled the ringing that had roused all of Brook Waters Camp inhabitants every summer. She was 15. Both feet hit the floor. She aligned the sheets, smoothing out the wrinkles with her hand. Two of the corners of her blanket had been neatly tucked before she realized, she was an adult now and in her own home. There was no camp counselor’s walk-through inspection before she could have her morning coffee. It would have been apple juice back then, from concentrate.
Today’s brew, Don Pablo’s medium roast. The hot liquid went down bitter, but it did the job. Saturdays were typically a sleep-in day, but she had a townhouse in Cedar Creek to show and it would take her a good 30-minute drive to get there. Carmen was never late but she need a little help to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Ha, she thought. Old Mrs. Smith loved yelling that to us kids as she was serving up those watery eggs every morning. Camp life.
#
The rising sun glinted off the hood of her silver Lexus. She stood outside drinking the remaining Don Pablo from her thermos while waiting for her client to arrive. She had shown Shelly this same townhome five times. Shelly, her client, was ridiculously indecisive. She wanted to see the property on a weekday, a weekend, at night, and at daybreak. Hopefully, this showing would do the trick.
A man she had seen run in this neighborhood before sprinted down Oak St. He shot her the peace sign as he ran passed her. He must be a triathlete, she thought. He never slowed down to say hi, just two fingers in the air and a smile. Shelly should have been here to see him. A handsome athletic neighbor is a great selling point. She arrived only moments later, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
After mulling over the details of each door frame, she began to inspect the windows. During her endless research, she had found that loosened jambs and casings could contribute to high energy coasts.
“It says here that the windows were replaced three years ago and are under warranty.”
“With the crazy winds we have here, one can never be to cautious about these things.”
Carmen plastered a smile on her face. She examined the neighborhood outside of the window. The smiling jogger was on his returning leg of his run. Visually she followed him until he rounded the corner.
“I think I’ve seen enough.” Shelly had soundlessly crept next to her. “I am sorry I didn’t mean to startle you. What’s out there that’s got your attention?”
“Oh, nothing. Just a great view.”
Shelly peered outside. “You’re so right, Carmen. I’ll take it.”
Carmen sat in her favorite booth at her friend Caterina’s cupcake shop swirling the foam on her expresso creating spirals of Phi. The metal clank of the golden demitasse resounded against the white ceramic cup. The noise grew louder. She stopped mid-swirl. She heard the bell again. Her head spun from side to side. No one else seemed to notice. She drank her remaining coffee and got up to pay.
“Caterina, do you hear a bell noise?”
Caterina squinted her eyes as if that would improve her hearing.
“No, I don’t. Do you?”
“No. I mean, I thought I did but it must have been my imagination.”
“Oh, okay. Sometimes, people’s phones can make pretty weird noises.”
“Right. Keep the change.”
“Thanks Carmen. Until next time.”
“Have a good one.”
She did not know why she had lied to Caterina. Indeed, she had heard the bell, twice now. The clock on the dash showed the time to be 12:03 pm. Hmm, she thought.
#
She sliced the tomato to go with her scrambled eggs fried in ghee butter. The meal plan left her macros at 12 percent carbs. Great. She finished her meal. While brushing her teeth, Carmen’s stomach began to turn. A familiar burning crept up her throat. She flipped the toilet seat up just in time to catch her morning breakfast.
Another townhome on Oak St., what are the odds? Leaning on her Lexus, she watched the newly-risen sun glow iridescent across her exposed arms. She sipped her purchased coffee. She heard it again. Softly at first but the ringing grew louder with each ring. She closed her eyes to focus on the sound. It seemed to be coming from the east.
Ding. Ding. Ding.
She closed her eyes. Was this ringing a precursor to some health event, a stroke? Carmen ran a mental health check; no headache, no numbness in her arms or hands, no dizziness, heartrate seemed normal. Nothing in her physical makeup could explain the ringing she was hearing. The sound was external. Yet Shelly had not heard it. After a few minutes, it stopped.
“Carmen Matthews?”
“Yes, that is me. Let’s take a look at your new home.”
#
Acetone soaked cotton balls were being held in place by the foil wrappers on Carmen’s finger tips to remove the gel nail polish. Her foiled wrapped nails prevented successfully clicking the massage chair remote control. Minh politely assisted her. She settled in the leather chair as her feet soaked in the bubbling water.
“Knead and lower back, right.”
“Right.”
Minh adjusted the massage settings. Carmen had gone through many a pedicure debacle before finding Minh at the Lotus Flower Salon. She was bright and funny, always had a story to tell about her dating fiascos, and gave the best massages. She also knew at what time to work silently while Carmen rested her eyes.
“Relax. Why are you so uptight?”
“Sorry, Minh.”
“Relax. You got man problems?” Minh laughed.
“I wish. I have just been having the strangest thing happen to me. Never mind. It’s silly.”
“Tell me. I tell you silly things all the time. Return the favor.”
“I keep hearing a bell. I hear it at different times of the day. It rings for several minutes and then the sound goes away. No one else can hear it. You think I’m crazy?”
“Oh no, Carmen. You are not crazy. You are blessed. When you hear a bell like that, God is trying to get your attention. Something you have prayed hard for awaits you. You must follow the sound of the bell.”
“What? Follow the bell? How?”
“Listen to where the sound comes from. Follow it as far as you can before it stops. You will have the answer to your prayer.”
Carmen let the seed Minh had planted in her mind germinate while the warm water massaged her achy feet.
#
Peanut butter toast with sliced banana, this had been Marcus’ pre-run breakfast for the past eight years. He sat at his breakfast bar drinking a glass of water. It is always good to hydrate before a run, he thought. He glanced at the empty dining room table that had become a workstation overrun with stacks of paper and his silver Macbook. Work and run. Eat and run. Sleep and run. He spent his life running. His bedroom wall was full of medals – half and full marathons from around the country. They were evidence of his success, yet he still ate alone.
He counted 5 slices of banana on his toast. Five was also the number of years he and Emily had lived together. It had been six months since he had found out she had been having an affair for at least a year. Emily had left her unlocked phone on that very same dining room table. He heard the chime of her ringtone. Annoyed by the noise, he picked it up to turn it off. He and Emily had always respected each other’s privacy, but the chiming did not stop. Someone must really need to get a hold of her, he thought. So, he swiped the screen to open the message.
He had returned the engagement ring she never knew about. That message thwarted his plan of a surprise engagement. Marcus hated thinking about her. He washed his plate and sat it in the dish washer. Outside, the cool crispness of the early morning would soon yield to the muggy heat of the sun. Marcus grabbed his ankle from behind to stretch his quadriceps. Running cleared his head. He put in his earbuds and took off toward the rising sun.
Mile 5 was a turn down Oak St. He was nearly home. He heard a bell ringing. Marcus removed one earbud to see if it was from the music he was listening to. The sound started soft and grew louder. He looked around wondering if a church was near. He had rounded this corner 5 to 6 days a week at the same time and had never heard a bell before. After a few minutes the tone stopped. Marcus returned the earbud and headed home.
#
“Please make a U-turn. At the next opportunity, please make a U-turn.”
“Okay GPS lady,” Carmen yelled at the robotic voice.
She thought she knew a shortcut to the Casper Springs neighborhood where she was showing a ranch-style home to retired couple. The winding roundabouts had her turned around and confused. Ignoring the prompting of her Global Positioning System had made her ten minutes late. Lucky for her, Mr. and Mrs. Wilkerson were 15 minutes late.
After the viewing, Carmen turned on her GPS to find the quickest way home. Once she got to 75, she knew the way home and turned the GPS off. The ding of the bell started again.
Okay, I am not crazy. I hear a dang bell. Minh said to follow it so here goes.
She let down her window and turned the radio off. The sound seemed to be coming from the Shadeland Park area. Carmen drove as close as she could get to the dinging sound in a car. She parked and started to walk the concrete trail. She passed the jungle gym, the water station, and the silver water fountain. Her baby-toe began to ache from navigating the concrete in 6-inch heels. She found a park bench and sat down. At that moment, the ringing ceased.
Carmen looked around. An older man shuffled down the trail. She admired his perseverance. There was a baby cooing in the grass. His father and mother had laid a blanket down and sat watching him discover the feeling of grass blades between his fingers. A rush off baby fever enveloped her like the summer sun. She closed her eyes to keep from crying. She inhaled. The air smelled of cut grass and puppies. The sounds of play and laughter filled her with a carefree happiness she had not felt since childhood.
#
He knelt to tie his shoe that had become undone during his run. Another day, another run down the same streets making the same turns, ending up back where he had started. Marcus heard the ding of the bell again. He searched around him. No cars on the road and no pedestrians on the street. Maybe someone was playing a joke. He cocked his head to the side to determine the direction the sound was originating. He began to run towards it. He ran up Oak St. passing the cupcake shop and nail salon. He ran until the pavement became the gravel of the Shadeland Park parking lot. Marcus ran along the trail until the ringing stopped. He saw a familiar face sitting on the bench not far from him.
#
A shadow crossed Carmen’s eyelids. She opened her eyes to see the jogger from Oak St.
“Hi. I am sorry to bother you, but I recognized you from my morning runs. I’m Marcus,” he extended his hand.
“Hello. I am Carmen Matthews. I’m a realtor. I show a lot of homes in your area.”
“Do you mind if I sit with you for a moment? I’ve been running a long time.”
“Not at all. I have been resting a bit myself. Walking in heels on this concrete is not a good idea.”
“What brings you here? I mean, in a suit and heels.”
“I don’t know. Just exploring a bit, I guess,” Carmen laughed.
“May I ask, what’s so funny, Carmen?”
“I must look ridiculous,” she added sliding on her pumps.
“You actually look pretty fly. Just uncomfortable.”
“How random,” Carmen interjected. “I have seen you many times running up or down Oak St. and you never introduced yourself. Now to meet you randomly at a park I never visit.
“That is pretty curious. I never visit this park either. But I heard a . . .”
I had a blast being interviewed by Letrise Carter of Sistah’s Place. I am typically the once asking questions. Here the tables are turned. Take a listen and check out her online magazine, Sistah’s Place.
When I was a young woman, I knew the life I wanted but I had no idea how to get there. I understand what it is like to have to forge your own way through uncharted territory. When I meet someone, who has done just that, I choose to celebrate her. I am excited to share my conversation with Shirene Hicks.
Shirene is a minister of the gospel, radio host, author, and police officer. I would describe her as a modern day super heroine with a bible in one hand and a gun in the other – carrying the law of the Lord and the land. She is a devoted wife and mother of three beautiful girls. Who says a woman cannot have it all?
Who is Shirene Hicks?
I am the founder of Breaking Through Barriers Ministries. I am an ordained minister. I am the author of the book, “365 days of Tears”. I have also been a law enforcement officer for the past 13 years. Currently, I host a weekly radio show every Monday on 1570 am from 4:30-5:00pm. The goal of my radio show is to inspire both hearts and minds. I am working towards a second Master’s degree at Loyola University in counseling. I enjoy spending quality time with my husband and three children.
I am called to missions and the prophetic. I recently visited Haiti and I had a life changing experience. I have a love and desire to help those that are in need. I find comfort while on the mission field. It is my opportunity to humbly give back and minister to others. Over a decade ago I discovered my calling. Through dreams I saw myself traveling the world and digging wells. I knew then that I had an awesome mission ahead.
What do you absolutely love to do?
One thing that I absolutely love to do is travel. I enjoy traveling both domestically and internationally.
What is fear to you and how have you overcome fear?
Fear is a stumbling block and it prevents progress. I had to overcome fear when being vocal about feminism. I am a feminist. I am interested in equality. My goal is not to bash men but to fight for equality among women. When I identify myself as a feminist, I am often judged especially by my male counterparts. I overcame fear by accepting who I was called to be.
What is your greatest accomplishment?
My greatest accomplishment is finishing my book, 365 Days of Tears, within a two-month time frame. During that time, I had an infant daughter that I also had to care for. Every morning after, when she was sound asleep, I would sit up and write from 2 am to 5 am.
What is the goal of your ministry? How do you measure its success?
The goal of my ministry is to preach the kingdom of God in a way that will draw all to Christ. I measure my ministry success by the change that is evident in others. In the near future, I am working on opening up my very own counseling center. I am currently working on a second book. I am also building a global women’s ministry. A ministry where women can come together and build one another up. A ministry that will allow room for travel, retreats, and other outings.
Breaking Through Barriers Ministries Prayer call begins on January 1, 2018 at 7 pm. Dial in # (563)999-2090 access #338929 playback# (563) 999-2099. The prayer call is every Monday.
I find women veterans fascinating. Women all over the country have been raising their collective voices in the #metoo campaign, sharing stories of sexual violation. From Harvey Weinstein to Bill Cosby, we are seeing evidence of how years of protected patriarchy leaves women vulnerable to abuse. So, there is something powerful about a woman soldier. Vera Harris is a 30-year veteran of the U.S. Army having earned the distinguished honor of being the first female Command Sergeant Major to serve in an Armored Cavalry Regiment during Operation Iraqi Freedom.
Vera has taken on a different battle in her retirement from the armed forces; that of an author of children’s books. I had the honor of interviewing her recently.
Why do you write children’s books?
I was inspired by my grandson to write children’s picture books because I wanted not only my grandson but other children to develop a love for reading. I enjoy reading. I have been a reader all my life and I noticed that my grandson struggled with reading. So, I decided to write easy sight words so that kids like him could develop the courage to read (and) would enjoy what reading brings. Reading will help them develop into leaders and productive citizens. In my experience, most readers are great leaders and introducing children to the art of reading will help kids become great leaders in school, in their communities and in their circle of friends.
What impact do you hope your books will have on others?
The main impact that I hope my books will have on others to encourage young children to enjoy and develop a love for reading books so that the love of books will follow them into adult life.
What was the biggest obstacle to you becoming an author and how did you overcome it?
One of the biggest obstacles to becoming an author is writing books that will engage young minds. I am learning more from veteran authors, from training, and conferences that specialize in helping authors improve their writing. I write from experience and from my imagination, so I am constantly working on books that will open up children’s imagination as well.
What should we expect from Vera Harris in the future?
I am excited about the future! I am currently working on my fourth children’s picture book which will be released in 2018. And since becoming a published author, I have been invited to speak at some events. I am enjoying and learning so much on this journey!
From defending our freedom as Americans to championing literacy for children, Ms. Harris is a true American Hero. You can connect with Ms. Harris by the following:
Fish out of water
Is a mermaid on land.
Not telling what I’ll find
With feet in the sand.
Left a world in which
No freedom to breathe.
That death is the beginning
A new land out of the sea.
I wake up in the morning, pray, and grab my phone. I read a scripture or online devotional and then, I check my notifications. I may be a just a bit addicted to social media. Pray for me.
I am swiping up, in the Twitter app this morning and I see the hashtag #whyIwrite. I suppressed the urge to shoot off a quick 140 characters to hop on the trend. I thought, this will require some introspection.
Writing my debut novel was a lot like giving birth, cliche as it may sound. I felt I had the story that had been building in me for years. I was swollen with characters, plots, and exposition. The stories of the myriad of women and men I have encountered through life provided DNA segments building the unique personality of each character. I had begun the Ruth’s Awakening: A Love Story nearly a decade before. The idea, the dna, all brought together in the love making created a life that built up inside my mind. I just had to bring it forth.
Everyone always asks, when is part two. The truth is, I have allowed life to distract me from the art of love. Love is action. Love is deliberate. I am learning to write as a discipline. It is my passion. Some days, I am so wiped out, I do not feel the burning in my soul. It is like a marriage that way. I guess. I have never been married. But, I have read that you must choose to love your spouse even when do not feel like it.
My fingers are vessels carrying my thoughts to the keyboard. Words and writing – love in the making. Love making. There I go again.
A fairy tale is defined as a mythical tale featuring magical and fantastic creatures. There are heroic feats accomplished by ordinary humans who somehow found their inner strength after a long quest. Beautiful maidens are brought back to life by the kiss of a true love. In short, it is a made up tale in a make believe world with invented characters and creatures. They are written for children. As children, we still possess that wide-eyed faith that good wins over evil. We believe in happy endings.
As we age, we stop believing. Kissed too many frogs and they stayed ugly and slimy. Dropped all of our money on a handful of beans and a dream to wake up still broke with no golden goose egg. Disappointment and bad breaks lead to disillusionment.
I want you to believe again.
This is why I write. Have an eye-wide open faith in love, redemption and the happily ever after. It is hope that keeps us going. I write hope-filled love stories centered around Christian characters with real life issues. It is an un-sanitized look at imperfect people with a hope in a perfect God making mistakes, getting it wrong, and through the drama – finding redemption and a happy ending. The happy ending may not look like a prince on a horse but something a little unexpected.
I will keep writing and if, you will keep reading – we will get to our happy ending – together.
Back in the '90s, there was a hip-hop song, "We're All in the Same Gang". It was a collaboration of West Coast rappers that promoted anti-gang violence. The message of the song is that we are all fighting the same battle so why fight each other. The relationship between women can be as precarious as gang-affiliations. If a new sister enters the arena, she is an enemy first until proven otherwise. I may be getting a little too deep but that has been my experience. Moving from city to city, I have been the new girl more often than not.
Saturday, I participated in a newly formed book club at my new church. My novel, Ruth's Awakening: A Love Story, was selected as the first book. I was a little nervous about this meeting. As a writer, I consider my novel my baby. I am very protective of it. I had to overcome the self-doubt that others would find the story as good as I thought it to be. Plus, I am the new girl. I was not sure what to expect.
We met at a local bakery. I handed out an agenda created to facilitate the conversation. In no time, everyone was opening up, laughing and talking. The characters in the novel became a mirror by which some attendees could see their own experiences reflected. The experience was revelatory.
I learned a few things during our book club discussion.
