Reclaiming My Space

In the space movie, Gravity, Sandra Bullock plays an astronaut who floats alone in space after an accident separates her from the space station she is working on. She is left alone, forced to face everything she ran away from while trying to find her way home.

Man, allegory! We all need our space – literally and figuratively.

I started my initial blog, Talulazoeapple,  in 2007 to document my move to Dallas, Texas. I was seeking some wide open spaces, room to make my big mistakes. *cue Dixie Chicks* During my time there, I finished graduate school, published my first novel and made some new friends. Check,, check, and check!

I ran out of goals.

Everyone around me was married or getting married and having kids. Marriage and kids – those are the goals that involve participation of another person. Kinda, hard to fit that on a scheduler. Dallas, which was once a vast frontier to explore, had begun to feel cold and empty. I was floating in it – aimlessly. I packed up and moved to Indiana. My brother invited me to live with him until I decided where I wanted to be.

Bullock’s character,having lost all crew members and her ship destroyed,  begins to give up. George Clooney’s character, who had drifted off into space, sacrificially, to save her, re-appears. It is only her imagination but he encourages her to fight to live.

gravitylight

A really good friend died from brain cancer. I found out he was sick the night before I drove across the country from Dallas to Indianapolis. Within six months, he had passed away.

Ironically, he had a nickname for me – Gravity. I called him ‘Light,’ affectionately. Nerdy, I know, but it worked for us. He was smart, like really smart. I felt that I could trust his advice because he really knew God’s word and he wanted nothing from me but friendship. He wanted me to succeed. He was my George Clooney. Always had an encouraging word. His spirit was a shining light. When he passed away, there was a void in my life. With everyone busy with their families and lives, who was left to encourage me?

I was never meant to stay in Dallas. It was a journey that I needed to experience to grow into the woman I need to be to live my destiny. I have learned that I can succeed on my own. I have the power to shape my life through conscious choices and strong faith to get me through the rough patches. I was never meant to stay with my brother forever – just a makeshift spacecraft to get me back to where I need to be. I know that I need a place to call my own.

When Sandra Bullock finds the resolve to re-enter earth’s atmosphere, it seems that Murphy’s law is also in full throttle. Knowing the path to take and being certain of your destination does not mean the absence of obstacles. It just means you must use the intelligence and resources God has provided to get you to where you need to be.

gravity

Life is meant to be lived – according to God’s purpose with some happiness along the way. Getting to that place will take everything you are made of. Don’t worry. You are well-equipped.

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