When the music winds down, the night air is cool and breezy and friends sit together around a table why is it inevitable that the discussion turns to relationships.
The participants: 2 single women both the same age (30-ish), 1 single college student (too young to even be worried about what we are discussing) and 1 happily married man.
The Discussion: Varies from Common's fineness to bionic dresses (will discuss in later post) but mainly about being single, dating experiences, and relationship advice.
I don't expect a lot of coherence when a discussion involves the emptying of wine bottles during the process. As the discussion progressed, I started to wonder about some things. I hope the following does not offend anyone who was in attendance.
It is easy to look at a person and say, "So and so is single because she has issues and they are clearly X,Y and Z." I am so quick to point out their issues. Issues like; she is still in love with her ex, she is shallow, she does not know a good man when she sees him, she acts desperate.
Then again, I am single and that begs the question, "What are my issues?"
Clearly, I don't get out much, I am not that great at striking up conversations with perfect strangers, I am not a bar hopper or serial dater. I have actually tried to live my life as close as possible to what I have been taught was right. In my head, I tell myself that this is what God wants and when the time is right, Mr. Right will find you. Honestly, when another birthday passes and I am asked for the umpteenth time to be a bridesmaid, doubt creeps into my head.
I start to wonder, can you find a husband while being celibate? Should you actively search for a mate like you do a job? Is my weight a barrier to someone finding me attractive? What would it be like to be that person who meets tons of people and have several boyfriend stories to share at the round table? Is this all in my head?
Too many questions and not enough answers. I know so many good women, smart women – women just like me who are single. I wish I could give an anonymous survey to someone and ask what are my issues. I wonder the type of responses I would receive.
I leave this post open ended. Discuss if you must.