Open Letter To the Talkative Bathroom Lady

Dear Woman in the Stall Next to Me:

I am not sure of bathroom etiquette where you are from BUT 'round these parts stall time is a period of silent reflection. I must navigate this germ hole without serious injury and without peeing down my leg as I squat. I am also pondering the self-loathing issues that keep me wearing pantyhose and enduring the torture they inevitable bring especially around bathroom time.

Needless to say, I don't have time for small talk and getting to know ya through the aluminum partitions. The fact that you had to repeat yourself several times before I responded, should have been a hint to my wariness in entering this discussion.

I only responded because I thought you were in an emergency situation or, at the very least, needed tissue. Inquiring about the day's program does not an emergency make.

Thanks to you, tactless bathroom lady, I am upset at our little repartee and now must repent before entering the sanctuary for all the crazy things I am thinking about you.

Sincerely,

TZA

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