Tag Archives: Lessons Learned

Ten Things I Have Learned About Relationships Since Starting This Blog

I was re-reading some of my posts in 2008. Back then I wrote a lot more about relationships. I came across a post entitled, "What Do Good Black Men Want in a Relationship?" It was a topic on the Tyra Banks Show and I expounded upon it. I got some really good comments on the post. CLICK HERE to read it.

I love reading my old posts. I reflect upon that hopeful, dream-filled young woman who wrote back in 2008. I can appreciate the journey that has led me to be the woman I am today. I just am not wowed by what I used to be wowed by.

I have learned a few lessons in these six years of writing this blog. On relationships, specifically:

 

1. Behavior never lies. What someone shows you in his/her actions – believe.

2. Real men want to provide, protect, and cover. If you are always providing and covering – something is wrong.

3. A man taking charge is like the sexiest thing ever.

4. An honest no that is hard to hear is better than a fraudulent yes.

5. Real men tell the truth.

6. It is okay to wait on Mr. Right and not settle for Mr. Right Now. By Mr. Right, I mean God.

7. Don't let others pressure you into a relationship.

8. If your gut is telling you something is wrong, SOMETHING IS WRONG!

9. Be open to new experiences.

10. Be willing to learn. You (I), don't know everything.

 

5 Life Lessons I Have Learned

My birthday is right around the corner. Birthdays, like the New Year, are cause for reflection. I have decided to share a few life lessons I have learned over the years.

1. There are no short cuts to success.

Be it in the gym, classroom, or life –  success comes from the good habits you perform daily. Everyone wants the promised land. No one wants the desert experience. Trust and believe there will be a desert experience. If success were that easy, EVERYONE would have it. I heard a message preached that success comes from doing what you know is right/needed regardless of how you feel no matter how long it takes.

#word

2. To quote Shakespeare, 'All the world's a stage.'

Someone once told me that you have to be friends with someone before you decide to date them because that is the only way to know the real person. Once you put a label on something, people start frontin'. By frontin' I mean playing the role, being insincere.

The balancing act comes from being aware of this truth without becoming jaded. I try, emphasis on try, to meet people where they are in life with as little judgement as possible. I believe that way they feel more comfortable being who they truly are. I have also come to accept that people are who they are and will be who they choose to be.

Players gonna play. Ballers gonna ball.

To quote MC Breed, "Ain't No Future in Your Frontin' ".

3. OTN: When someone shows you who they really are, BELIEVE THEM!

OMG this is a lesson on which I seem to keep failing the test. I just want/need to believe the best about people. I do not want to be someone who navigates relationships with lowered expectations, always suspicious of ulterior motives. I am taking copious notes in preparation for the next test.

4. "Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help." Psalms  146:3.

I understand this verse to denote  recognizing the humanity, fallibility of man. Accepting others mistakes makes it easier to acknowledge, accept and forgive our own.

5. Love is an exercise in vulnerability.

You cannot get to it being fenced in by insecurities, anger, resentment, or relationship baggage. March around Gideon getting your praise on and let those walls fall. (You would have had to present during a bible study or two to catch the reference.)

If you think about it, God is love. You are really opening up the God part of you to the God part of someone else. If God is in it, there is no limit. *Cue Israel Houghton*

What are some life lessons that you have garnered over the years?

 

 

 

 

Catching Up – The Random and the Frightening

If I had to describe this weekend in a short phrase, I would say it was kinda awesome.

Faced a big fear, learned a lesson.

Fear

It is difficult to walk by faith when worry/anxiety has been your motif operandi. Faith is the only surety in life. Relying on my own resources would mean never accomplishing anything. Relying on God's infinite resources is leading me into things I could only see in my dreams.#lessonlearned.

I had my first real audition. YEAH!

Back when I was taking classical vocal lessons, I had the opportunity to audition for a musical and chickened out. I, once again, was looking at my circumstances and limited resources. I told myself that if I ever got a second chance, I would not let fear keep me from it.

So I happen to know somebody, who knows somebody who knows somebody, that was casting a play. I met her over a year or two ago. She kept me on her email list. I told her when we met that if she knew of any auditions, if she could keep me in mind. Fast forward a year or two I get this email. They are casting an African American actress in a play.

My own resources = no acting class in forever, no head shots, no recent experience. God's resources = infinite.

Longer story short, I studied the slides, went in and had a blast.

I read one scene and was given a monologue,asked to review it and come back. I finished my monologue and the woman said, "That was great!"

SOOOO, I hope I got it. I am still a winner though because I finally #facedmyfear.

What triumphs are you celebrating this week?