The Steam Room: The Tale of A Slight Germaphobe

I finally signed up for the gym. I am ready to get my workout. For weeks, I have been faithfully lifting weights at home but my neck and shoulders were REALLY sore -so sore that I could not turn my neck. So, I was really psyched to get into the sauna and relax.

Long story, less long: The sauna was OUT of ORDER! UGH! The attendant days, "The steam room is working." So I am secretly praying that no one else is in said steam room because steam rooms kind of freak me out.

I enter the steam room and immediatley my glasses steam up. I take them off stumbling blindly in the midst and I start  coughing. Out of the white blindness, I hear a voice call out, "It takes a moment to get used to breathing."


I say okay and try to be comfortable but I am feeling a bit like Myrtle Urkel trying to clean my geek chic spectacles. I sit down convincing myself that I have not just walked into a bacteria bath and I notice the man behind the voice. He is sitting in the coner on the upper bench darn near NAKED.

So I say, "Do you have to take off of your shoes?"

He starts going on and on about how he just likes to take off his shoes, and apparently clothes,  because he sweats a lot.

*Inside my head* Gag, gag, gag. Did I mention that he has this big hairy chest? During his speech he happens to mention that you should not stay in a sauna more than ten minutes.

So I ask him, "Well, how long have you been in here?" Hoping beyond hope that it is like 9.5 minutes and he is taking his naked, hairy, and extra sweaty self on somewhere.

He says, "Like 10 minutes," and he does not move!

Water is dripping from the ceiling on my hair. I am this close to freaking out and then the coup d'etat. Moisture starts to form on my lips. I hop up and say out loud, "I think I have had enough, thank you."

I came home shower, washed my hair, curled up in a fetal position on my bed and tried to forget what had just happened.