Letter to Self Five Years Ago

The retrospective offers the most precise point of view. You know every twist and turn your life has taken – no surprises here.  Often, I have looked upon my past and only recount my mistakes. If I had only done this or not done that – then . . .  *insert perfect ending*. Evaluating your past successes and mistakes can be a painful process.  Embrace it. Through it, you can make well-planned choices for a deliberate future. Life still happens but it is important to know that you have a choice in the matter. 

To myself five years ago,  I write:


Dear Felicia,

1. Enjoy the moment you are in. In five years, you will be in a different state – physically and metaphorically. 

2. This extra weight will be a thing of the past. You will not be at your goal weight but you will have lost 35 plus lbs, have a fitness group of over 100 members, and be lifting weights. 

3. Do not dwell on the past mistakes as much. Learn from them and move on. A choice made is just a choice. Do not torture yourself wondering what would have been if you had made a different choice. 

4. The man you have been dreaming about is just that – a man and a dream. He will disappoint your fantasy of him and that is okay. You are more beautiful and desired than you have ever known. 

5. Life is going to throw you some curve balls in every area – health, family and finances. Know that you are well-equipped for this battle and God has your back. 

6. Please, Felicia, be kinder to yourself. You have accomplished so much already. You will be amazed by what you are going to do. 

7.  STOP, just STOP living in fear. You will curse the chance not taken because of playing it safe. Do not fret too much, you will get another opportunity to prove yourself brave. You will pass. 

8. You will learn that it is okay to love and to lose because the joy is in the experience. Loving without any expectation of reciprocity is the purest love of all. 

9.  Once you have completed reading this letter, do not ponder it too much. Life is lived in the now.

10. Go live!


                                                                                                                    An Older and Wiser You




As Graduation Approaches. . .

I am starting to see myself in the light of my future and I am eagerly anticipating what it holds for me. It seems these past few years in Texas has been fraught with many tests and trials. Through it all, I believe I am on purpose, in the will of God.

As I evolve, I am maturing in insight. I no longer see men as trees but as merely men. I have learned that I can cast my own life. Friends of the past are not necessarily going to be friends of the future. I deserve reciprocity of love, respect, and support. If we are not on the same page, the story will continue without you.

This is hard lesson for me. I have a habit of holding on to things and people for the sake of having something or someone to hold. I am so over it.

God is showing me how to open myself up to new relationships, friends, experiences that I would have been to timid to embark upon.

At this stage of my life, I am truly ready.

Oh yeah, I graduate next Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!This is a hallelujah moment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!