Tag Archives: Dating

Dear Single Women: Don’t Be Delusional

Sitting at lunch with a group of people and the conversation turned to relationships. Seated at the table; a 60-year old married man, myself, another girl my age, a divorcee of 40ish and a 40ish single woman/no kids.

The other young woman, let's call her Precious, starts going in about the type of guy she does not want. In the company of these older folks she says she wants a "ten". I, naively, ask, "What's a ten?" I thought she meant on a ratings scale. No, she was talking measurements. *use your imagination* In the company cafeteria! Then she, an overweight woman, stated that she doesn't want a fat guy because she cannot do anything with that.

I am not exaggerating when I say everyone fell silent. This chick was loud, vulgar and rubbing everyone the wrong way. I am surprised Idris Elba had not scooped her up. *insert sarcasm*

I say all that to say why do people expect perfection in a person – physical perfection that is – when they are far from perfect.

I believe it was President Barack Obama who stated be the change you want to see or something like that.

I wonder if we single women hold on waiting for a perfect specimen of man when perfection does not exist and we are not perfect.

What do you think? Am I being to hard on her for just being honest?

So I Finally Got Asked To Dinner. . .

 
. . .by the wrong guy! lol

Thursday was the last day of my internship. My manager planned this celebration. There was cake and snacks. A lot of people came down to say goodbye.

Soooo my manager starts telling all of the delivery guys throughout the day that it was my last day. This one in particular, I have always known he has liked me. The first day he started work he just stared at me without saying a word. I had a one word. . .creepy! lol

Catlady

So, gradually he started making small talk. Well long story short, my manager comes into the party and says. "The UPS guy wants to see you before you leave, oh he wants cake." She then hands me a plate of cake and snacks.

So I go back to my desk, he is all like, "You should let me take you to dinner." Blah, blah, blah.

So I say, "Um, that would be ok." I mean what else could I say.

I know you, my frequent readers, are asking, "What's the problem?"

He is kinda cute. He just seems like a neighborhood guy. Those of you who grew up in the hood may know what I mean.

I know I suck. I'm contradictory.  I may as well go buy a couple of cats. It's just that I had a vision of who would ask me out and this wasn't the guy.

He gave his number. So I ask you – should I call?

Eat the Cake Anna Mae! Ok, Not So Much Cake Anna Mae

I really need to stop judging people based off of small actions. However, I find it annoying when people behave like greedy hoarders.

I had an extra cake left over from an event so I decided to take it in to work. After everyone in my department had eaten their fill, I invited some peole from another department to have the rest of the cake.

Why did Anna Mae Bulluck, go grab like two extra slices of cake, before the others could get some. I mean like really thick 3 inches across slabs. Now don't get me wrong. I am not watching what people eat if I invite them to dinner. Eat until your head explodes for all I care. I just though this was an odd behavior – for an adult.

What does it all mean? Maybe Anna just really likes cake. *shrugs shoulders*

Not that this has anything to do with a real person, it actually does, but would you date someone 8 years your junior? Would you hang out with him? Would you go to his church if he invited you?

Just questions? No, really, would you? lol

So I Removed My Bionic Lashes and. . .

. . .I'm still cute. lol

A co-worker complimented my eyes without the lashes. She said my eyes looked brighter. So maybe the bionic parts thing is all in my head. No way to truly tell.

The really cute Puerto Rican deliver guy called me baby today. Not sure how I feel about that. It was a very casual, "Talk to you later, baby." Like, for realz?

You better be lucky you're the cuteness. lol

New co-worker. He is such a flirt. Plus he is funny. Plus he is single, unlike this dude. But he is younger than I am.

Womp. Womp.

The saga continues.

A Little Lash and A Lot of Confidence

A few days ago I spoke of bionic dresses. I have experienced the power of the bionic body part. A smart little overlooked member that when endowed with bionic powers can master feats never mastered before.

I speak of the fake eyelash.

Don't laugh my friends. It really works.

 Superwoman 

I went down to the beauty school and had someone create me really old hollywood styled eyelashes. The effect on my eyes was brilliant. I received so many compliments. This past week I have been flirted with more overtly by the cutest of guys. When I say cute, I mean CAYUTE! lol

I am not sure if the lash itself possessed superhuman powers or if it gave me the added boost of confidence I lacked. I removed them last night, so I guess the day will tell. Whatever the source of my new found bionics, I must wield this power with care. lol

Do you have a bionic part? Discuss.

My Top Ten (Irrational) Fears About Dating Men

I have written on Talulazoeapple about fears before, I think. I have also been attempting to overcome most of my (irrational) ones.

I still have left to conquer my fear of dating. It's not like I am cowering in a corner at the thought of it. I just allow my doubts to keep me from trying to connect with someone.

I could just blame all of this on my mother. Parents are easy scapegoats, but it's me.

I figured like most things in life, if I write it down, visualizing my fears I can conquer them.

Here goes:

10. Men are dogs – You have heard this one many a time. I don't think all men are dogs but most have a propensity toward canine behavior. LIL To deal, you need a trainer's license and a rabies shot.

9. Men lie – Truth be told everyone lies in a little. I may wear a padded bra . . .or not, whose asking?To date one must be willing to play a little I Spy from time to time.

8. At my age, all of the good ones are taken - I know this cannot be true, after all there are 5.7 billion people on earth. Surely there has to be one heterosexual, disease-free, educated, professional with no baby momma's or mental illnesses man with all of his teeth. Just one is all I need.

7. Marriage is passe – With Oprah leading the pack of professional women who have these "spiritual unions" (followed by Halle Berry), many are negating the importance of holy matrimony. I would just like to tell all these women, keep it real. Ya'll are way richer than your boyfriends and wanna keep that money right. LOL You ain't fooling me!

6. Every unmarried man over thirty is on the down-low – Lord why did Oprah do that show on down-low brothers. I swear, I think every guy, I mean every guy I meet has a secret. **in Wendy Williams voice** How you doin'?  Irrational? IDK. Watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta has refueled this particular one. Lord, help me to overcome. LOL

5. Once married men turn into control freaks – I know many a married man who wants to tell their wife when and where she can breathe. . .and they do it. Um. . .no. I am an easy going girl, I need an easy going guy. I will allow a man to be a man, just allow me to be. . .free.

4. I may change my mind – I know this is the craziest one but I have track record of losing interest in things and marriage is forever. Forever, ever? I had a cat once and the thing was soo smelly, I kicked it out of the house. It wandered into the parking lot and got hit by car. Can you see where I am going with this?

3. All men want is sex, sex, and more sex – This can't fly. I am a Christian that actually practices celibacy – for really, real. I always fear that a guy won't be interested in relationship where there is no nookie. I am not sure if this one is rational or irrational.

2. A man is supposed to find me – Lord, the perils of COGIC upbringing.  Whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord Proverbs 18:22. This scripture was always recited as an admonishment not to look for a man. You are supposed to let a man find you. This presents quite a conundrum for the single girl.

1. I am meant to be alone – When I was a little girl, I wanted to become a nun. No, really, I did but I was not Catholic. I thought I would dedicate my life to serving God and remain a virgin for life. Well that one did not pan out. Sometimes I think God (who according to my COGIC upbringing is a jealous God) wants me for Himself. I mean, really, who can compare to the Almighty. Or maybe it's like any father, He wants only the best for me. No ordinary, jack leg (my momma's phrase) will do. Maybe I am not meant to be alone but I meant to wait on God.

WOW. . .EPIPHANY!