When you become a Christian, you are on this spiritual high. You go to church whenever the doors are open, you read your Word as if it is your daily food and water allowance. You try to be the consummate Christian.
In Galatians 5:22, it reads, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness." So you go about your business being kind and turning the other cheek until one day you realize, hey, I have run out of cheeks to turn lol.
Some signs you are a pushover; people are always asking to borrow money, they need your help for EVERYTHING, and have no problem letting you down when the tables are turned. You are left feeling anxious and upset and they are living their life merrily with your money! lol
In relationships, it is even more difficult. If you are trying to be the best Christian, virtuous woman possible, men see that as gullible. Much like, relatives/friends asking for money, men will ask you for your very soul, if you allow it. They will also feel no qualms about not keeping up their end of the bargain. It is like, your the Christian, you should forgive me. By the way, lay down and let me walk over you seven times seventy more times.
I, like others, have struggled with boundaries. I hve learned the key to not being a pushover Christian is exercising the use of the word NO.
It is understanding that you have the right, as a child of God, to be loved and respected. Just because the people in your circle may be family or other Christians, these people still NEED to be told NO. You must teach people how to treat you. I have learned – the hard way – that you cannot expect someone out of the goodness of their heart to respect your boundaries. You must take charge and enforce them.
To summarize, the way not to be a pushover Christian is to:
- Learn to say NO!.
- Identify your boundaries to others.
- Enforce your boundaries.
Please know, you can do all of the above with love. Those perpetual boundary crossers will even thank you for it later. (Maybe lol)