Christian Friends and Accountability – Act I

I am learning that we as Christians need Christian friends to encourage us and hold us accountable – in the love of God!

As you all know, I moved to Dallas and away from my family. My mom is saved. We went to the same church that my extended family and some neighbors attended. It was easy to be in the presence of someone who would encourage you and hold you accountable even if they were just a bit too nosy. lol

Here in Dallas – the home of the mega church – it is so easy to get lost in the shuffle. No one knows if you are there or not. No one calls just to say that they are praying for you. When you are used to that type of connection, being without it is quite palpable.


God has placed a few people in my life that I can talk to about how I am feeling, why I feel that way and we laugh, pray for and encourage one another.

I think it is a grave mistake for Christians to go it alone. You are too susceptible to the enemy who as a roaring lion goes about seeking someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:8) If you constantly hang around your non-spiritually minded friends, they cannot hold you accountable and sometimes even want you to fall. It is not that they dislike you but your following after God's example convicts them of their own lifestyles. I hear all of the time how a Christiam will have a friend who will encourage her to do whatever and that whatever is contrary to the will of God. A godly friend will ecourage you to fast, pray and do what is right. The Bible discusses how if two are walking and one falls into a ditch, then the other can help him out of it. (Ecclesiastes 4:10)

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Are There Any Nice Guys Left?

I met a woman on Sunday who said she met her husband at a singles' ministry at church. This is the second woman from that church, my church, that has told me this. The problem? The singles' ministry is not that active anymore.

Anyway. I was feeling bored and lonley this weekend so when The Kid 2.0 called to see if we could "hang out" I said cool. Afterall, we had had a discussion that I thought cleared the air and made him understand that we were clearly on friends-only territory.

Secondly, I thought what's so wrong with hanging out watching movies with a FRIEND?

*inside my own head* Why are you so naive?

So long story, less long, The Kid 2.0 comes over and everything is chill for hour number 1. I am sitting on my chair and he is on the love seat. Then The Kid 2.0 says, "Why are you so distant? You can sit by me."

Do you see where this is heading? I did but I kept thinking, self, don't jump to conclusions.

It went from me sitting next to him, to him with his hand on my thigh, to him inching his hand higher, to me pushing his hand away, to him trying to kiss me, to me stopping him and saying. "Stop, this is just too much too fast. "

He says, "I understand."

He did not. Back with the hand action. I got so frustrated, I couldn't finish watching Black Girls Rock.

I just stated that I had to get ready for my first day at work.

He got up and left.

This is the first time we actually spend one-on-time together – no date, no dinner. You have not done ANYTHING to expect any type of action. I am too old for this. I had no idea that guys still tried that high school crap. Ugh!

Are there any nice guys left?

P.S. My Gut Feeling Is ALWAYS Right

This past week has been a roller coaster of emotional ups, downs and suspension. Come Monday, I am officially in the second week of my two weeks' notice. With one end in site and a new beginning on the horizon, I   guess this was the devil's time to get busy.

For brevity I'll just focus on the guy.

So this guy that I was not interested in kept finding his way in my space every day, multiple times a day. One day he finds his courage and finally asks me out. . . well, to "hang out." Yes, he is 25 and this is the parlance of 25 year olds.

I kinda blew him off last weekend just because I am too grown for that. Plus, my gut feeling told me he was just too young. UNTIL, I tell a couple of friends who suggest that I give him a shot. Maybe he could turn out to be a good friend. One tactless friend declared that I am insane and will probably be alone forever.

So against my better judgment and Godly discernment, I tell him that I am free this Saturday evening. He agrees that he'll text me later with details. SN: I loathe texting but he is 25 years old.

So Saturday comes. I go to my housing seminar in the morning, wash, get my eyebrows waxed and. . .NOTHING. No call, no text. . nothing!

So Sunday comes and he calls around noon wanting to know what I was up to. His words, "I'm out and about and wanted to know what you had planned today." Um, something that doesn't involve you, kiddo.

So, I politely tell him that I have things to do and that I was free yesterday. He apologizes and says something about hanging out with his friends. He, then, asks what do I have to do. My response, "Some stuff." lol

Dear child, let this be a lesson to you. If you feel you are man enough to approach a grown, independent woman and ask for her time, you better make it worth something.

P.S.S. Dear friends, I'll wait on God thank you.