Tag Archives: Boundaries

I Have but One Rule of Friendship.

You MUST be Team Felicia.

I am going through life just like you facing challenges that are personal, familial, and professional. I do so with grace, faith and a little blog. Friends and my readers make the journey a bit more bearable.

I have had several incidents with people who claim to be friends who continually speak negative things over my life. Get thee behind me!

I was talking to a 'friend' and explained how I believe God for the husband of my dreams. I want to have that level of faith. This person got highly-offended that I would dare to ask God for what I want and not just accept any old man because, 'Maybe that is God's will for you.'

Again, get thee behind me!

The Word of God says, "Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. " Psalm 37:3-5

No caveats. So, why are you mad? Are you upset because I do not agree with you or are you upset that you fell for the enemy's deception and excepted good enough when God has promised His children 'Good Things'?

"If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?" Matthew 7:11

Please do not start me to preaching on here.

Having this level of faith is not easy. It has been birthed through trials and tribulations. Through reading, accepting and believing God's Word. I will not – cannot – let anyone shake my faith.

My faith has gotten me to Dallas. It is by faith that I am writing this post. That I have written my book. That I still have dreams of acting on stage.

"And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us." Romans 5:5

My friends, who I have known the longest, would have offered words of encouragement. They would have even quoted scriptures I may have forgotten. I am told by them that I am smart and beautiful and deserve the best. So, why are you mad?

My friendships are not one-sided. The reciprocity being I am pro-my friends. I would never try to embarrass you when a 3rd or 4th party is in our presence. If anything, I will talk you up not talk you down.

God has been dealing with me in the area of boundaries. It is time that I start enforcing them. If you are not Team Felicia, please keep it moving.

 

 

How Not to Be A Pushover Christian

When you become a Christian, you are on this spiritual high. You go to church whenever the doors are open, you read your Word as if it is your daily food and water allowance. You try to be the consummate Christian.

In Galatians 5:22, it reads, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness." So you go about your business being kind and turning the other cheek until one day you realize, hey, I have run out of cheeks to turn lol.

Some signs you are a pushover; people are always asking to borrow money, they need your help for EVERYTHING, and have no problem letting you down when the tables are turned. You are left feeling anxious and upset and they are living their life merrily with your money! lol

In relationships, it is even more difficult. If you are trying to be the best Christian, virtuous woman possible, men see that as gullible. Much like, relatives/friends asking for money, men will ask you for your very soul, if you allow it. They will also feel no qualms about not keeping up their end of the bargain. It is like, your the Christian, you should forgive me. By the way, lay down and let me walk over you seven times seventy more times.

I, like others, have struggled with boundaries. I hve learned the key to not being a pushover Christian is exercising the use of the word NO.

It is understanding that you have the right, as a child of God, to be loved and respected. Just because the people in your circle may be family or other Christians, these people still NEED to be told NO. You must teach people how to treat you. I have learned – the hard way – that you cannot expect someone out of the goodness of their heart to respect your boundaries. You must take charge and enforce them.

To summarize, the way not to be a pushover Christian is to:

  1. Learn to say NO!.
  2. Identify your boundaries to others.
  3. Enforce your boundaries.

Please know, you can do all of the above with love. Those perpetual boundary crossers will even thank you for it later. (Maybe lol)