I love to write, perform spoken word, to sing, and create content. Being creative is my core identity. It brings me immense joy and satisfaction. I can see angles and weave connections together to tell a compelling story. This is both gift and craft. It has taken years for me to accept this as my calling.
So, why do I spend the majority of my time not doing any of the above? Time and energy management.
Work, the commute, working out, eating healthy, family, and self-care. Sheesh. I am tired. The list of what I need to do drains my energy so much I struggle to do what I love. As I write this, I have a load of laundry on. I have just finished washing dishes. I need to prepare for Monday morning. My brain keeps adding on task after task until, overwhelmed, I shut down. I end up lying in bed scrolling Instagram to ease the mental tension.
I am also blue. Not doing what I love is having a negative effect on my mood. I shared this with a group of ladies from church. We meet every Sunday after service for a coffee break chat because community matters. An older group member asked, “How much are you willing to fight for the time you need to be creative?” I started thinking, how can I manage my time better?
You have to make room for what you love. It can be a downright fight for that space.
I am currently reading, “Black Girls Must Die Exhausted.” I have internalized that my ability to manage household duties is directly correlated to how good of a woman I am. That is not true. It correlates to how exhausted I feel at the end of everyday.
I have decided to outsource some of the activities that I have been draining my energy. Laundry and cleaning, well there are services for that. I have reached out to a few meal prepping services, too. I am aware that this costs money. Not managing my time and energy is costing me my dream. Which is the more expensive of the two?
Life is about making decisions and creating priorities. How you spend your money and time reveals what it most important to you.
I am important to me.
Drop your thoughts in the comments below.