I have kept a secret from my Get Fit with Fe crew for all of the years since starting my fitness group. I have hypothyroidism. Hypothyroidism, as defined by WebMD:
Some quick facts:
- The most common type of hypothyroidism is Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. It is an auto immune disease in which your body produces antibodies that attack your thyroid gland.
- When your body does not get enough thyroid chemical and bodily processes slow. In short, your metabolism is slow. Really, really slow.
- There is no known cure.
When I found out I had hypothyroidism, I was really ambivalent. One the one hand, I finally had an answer to the culprit behind my life-long struggle being overweight. No matter how much I exercised or changed my diet, the weight would not come off. At least, not permanently. And it was not just the weight. I had all of the freaking symptoms – extreme fatigue, memory issues, depression – I had it all.
Being diagnosed gave me relief. On the other, I had to manage a disease that had no known cause and no known cure. I did not like the sound of that – no cure? With God, all things are possible. So, I started searching for the possible.
There is a lot of research regarding gluten-sensitivity and hypothyroidism. The student HERE suggests that people with hypothyroidism and gluten-intolerance absorbed more thyroid chemical when following a Gluten-free diet. There may be some stock to this. I did the Daniel Fast with a friend, who is also hypothyroid, and we both lost at least 10 lbs each. The Daniel Fast eliminates all wheat, as well as, dairy, and sugar – other known causes of inflammation.
I read about Pulse Test used to determine if somonesuffer from food allergies/sensitivities. The test, developed by Dr. Arthur Coca, postulates that food allergies produces an immune response in people causing their heart rate to go up. This can be measure by taking the pulse before and after consumption of the allergenl. Dr. Coca’s book, The Pulse Test, goes into greater detail, but the gist of the test is:
- Grab food that is the suspected allergen and have it ready.
- Take your pulse while in a rested state at least 5 minutes after activity.
- Place the food on your tongue. Let it stay in your mouth for at least 30 seconds. DO NOT SWALLOW the food.
- Take your pulse from anywhere on your body. It may be easier to take it from the wrist. Count the number of beats for 60 seconds.
- If your pulse increases greater than 4 beats between tests, the food is likely producing an allergic response.
I tried the test. I tested for milk and wheat. Milk produced no response but bread did. It is important to note that this test cannot distinguish between food allergies and food sensitivities. I am going to cut out all wheat based products for 1 week and track my results. It is worth a shot.
It is that time again. A new year is upon us. The Mayan apocolypse was a bust. Our planet is still spinning on its axis as God intended. Before it makes another full revolution around the sun, what do I hope to accomplish?
I resolve to live my life in the present. I no longer want to time travel expecting my life to be perfect at some future moment or event. My life is perfect now. I have my health and strength, my mom and family, friends and work. I truly lack nothing.
It is time for me to enjoy it. A friend of mine went to Paris. I have taken french for about 6 years and have dreamed of France. She brought me back some chocolate and an Eiffel Tower key chain. The gift reminded me that is time to make my dreams the reality.
I have completed my book. It is time to edit that bad boy and get it published.
I am leaving all crushes in the past. Remember my Confessions of a Serial Crusher. That teenage stuff is for the birds. My 2013 in based in reality – waking up.
I am realistically controlling the food I put in my mouth and the exercise of my body.
I am being honest about my feelings regardless of the response.
I am making money at every opportunity. No risk, no reward.
I am defining and enforcing all boundaries.
I will wear a red dress at least once a month AND some signature red lipstick.
I am going to chill and just be.
The idea of marriage and finding the man of destiny that God has chosen for us, is a revisited conversation topic for me and my single friends. In fact, yesterday, I had quite an interesting conversation, in which a friend said that marriage is not your ministry when I have heard the message preach that marriage is exactly that – a ministry. Given the current environment of conflicting ideas and expectations, I was unexpectedly challenged in my idea of what a marriage mate is by an article someone posted on Facebook from Relevant Magazine, "You Never Marry the Right Person."
Yes, sometimes Facebook actually yields something thought provoking.
The gist of the article is that we expect too much from another person. We want someone to be perfect and fulfill our emotional/sensual needs while never expecting much from us in return. That person should just be perfect while accepting our crusty flawed selves. Yes, I mean crusty.
Another idea posed in the article is that it is impossible to find the perfect mate because marriage fundamentally changes who were are. When you enter into a marriage, you are learning to love a new person and therin lies the rub.
I was talking to a guy and he was detailing what he expects/likes in a woman. What he wants is not unrealistic but did have a tinge of I want you to be more wholesome than I have to be. Having just watched an old Eddie Murphy stand up, I shied away from the knee-jerk reaction to snap my fingers and roll my neck all the while yelling, "and what about you?!" lol
The author of the article actually articulates in an analogous to the Bible sort of way how we need to love like Christ loves us. We are epically flawed yet eternally loved in Christ, right? Why cannot we love another flawed individual without the expectation of perfection on their part and not ours?
Interesting idea, no?
This Saturday was the big bonanza! Yes, I am confident enough to type bonanza in reference to my party. My Vision Board Party 2012 was an overwhelming success.
For all who are not familiar with vision boarding, it is the concept of putting your dreams and goals for yourself in a physical and visual format. What you see, you can ask, believe and receive.I know a lot of secular people may associate vision boarding with some new age philosophy but this is biblical.
"And the LORD answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it." Habakkuk 2:2
Many of us have dreams and great thoughts but we never put pen to paper and run. I am running now.
We started the afternoon with lunch. Next, we participated in a short exercise designed to help focus on what we really want out of life. I asked a series of ten questions and we all had fifteen seconds or less to complete them.
The questions included things like:
- What makes you smile?
- If you were a teacher of anything, what would you teach?
- What activities, when doing them, make you lose track of time?
With our minds freshly stirred, we began cutting out words, phrases and pictures from magazines and posting them on our boards.
No board was actually finished by the end of the party but we all went a away with a great start.
The best part of the afternoon was the conversation. It was nice to have a supportive environment to share your dreams out loud. This group of women is exceptionally talented. God is truly amazing bringing us all together.
My lesson of the day:
I have some extremely, smart, beautiful and talented friends.
Some pics from the event. I forgot to have someone take my picture 😦 I did take one of my board. It is the black one.
A chance encounter. A fateful event. Something to indicate that we (whoever that other part of we is) are destined to be. Is that crazy?
Don't answer that.
A friend of mine jokes that I am like the character Sara Thomas in the movie Serendipity. She is all like, Felicia, the stars have to align and the heavens open as sign that he (whoever that he is) is the one. Ok, really? I get her point. I am not so delusional as to think the stars will literally align and the sun shine down on the forehead of my intended but I do have to admit, I want a little magic.
I used to be really bad at the Lord-is-this-a-sign-itis. I would literally, mid-conversation- stare intently at a guy and ask – Lord is he the one. I am sure all of those guys thought I was crazy. lol Maybe I am a little bit. I mean, I was a smart kid. I paid attention in school. Completed my MBA – yada, yada, and the yada. So, I am capable of learning. Yet, no one has ever taught me how to date. I truly suck at it. I always, always, always get my signals crossed. If I project friendship, I get love letters. If I project interest, I get the "you're the bomb.com" line from Just Wright.
I blame my mother! lol Isn't easy just to blame our parent(s). I distinctly remember a guy that would come by and visit me when I was like fifteen or something. It was so very benign. We would sit on my front porch and chat. Well, one day my mom was out there and this guy gets the courage to ask my mom if he could take me to the movies. To which, my mom replies, "I don't think she is ready for that." Point. Blank. Period.
I was MORTIFIED. So much so that I told him he should probably stop coming around. Overreacted much? You betcha. I have always been a bit emotional but the guy I did end up with, never asked her squat. He just would sneak around when she was at work.
Fast forward today and I am still mentally on that porch waiting. Wow, that was like the saddest line I have ever written, lol. I have to get off of the stupid porch, for heavens sake! But, how? Be more practical, I guess.
I am not saying that I am growing cynical; maybe a little more, dare I say it, practical. Even as I type this, I still hope – just a bit – for a little magic.
It is day 18 0f my 30 in 30 days of no eating out. Man am I feeling. . .SUPER. Someone told me today that I am MELTING! I put on a pair of pants that would not come past my thighs a few weeks earlier. Yes, people, I am melting.
As the old me – the tired, overweight, unsatisfied me- melts away, a newer, bolder me emerges. God is amazing in how he orchestrates things. This entire journey started with The Daniel Fast. The results were so stark – I lost weight, looked better, could sleep without burning acid reflux. Others around me were beginning healthy journeys, as well, providing support and accountability.
It all felt great and then a compliment, visible results. What can be more motivational?
I have added jogging to my workout routine which now consists of Danceaton classes 2-3 times per week. Felt so great today, I did both.
Will you join me? How can we keep each other inspired and motivated? I am eager to hear your thoughts.
This week has been trying physically, let me tell you. I have been subjected to mandatory overtime, while trying to maintain my amped up workouts and developing a social life. All of this has left me T.I.R.E.D.
Had to steal away and pray.
My social calendar this week – dinner with a friend, out to the Beamers again (my friend had free buffet passes) and a writer's workshop. Not too hectic until you throw in a ten hour work day that starts at 6:30 am. Try as I might, I just cannot enjoy Beamers, I am sorry. I know we went at "dinnertime" and left before it turned into a ""club but it still feels like a club when I am there. I still feel out of place.
My friend who went with me last week said to me, "Girl, that last man who asked you to dance was cute, something must be wrong with you."
Yes, I am saved. I am trying to find a balance between being social and meeting people and staying in God's will and before you roll your eyes and dismiss my comment, please read on.
I bought this really cute dress, specifically for going out and being social. When I was trying it on, the dressing room attended states, "Ohh that is cute but if you're going out it needs to be shorter." I decide to not to be me for a while and take her advice. Let me tell you, when I walked through the door, men were just kinda drawn to me or it. lol The dress is form fitted black lace with a nude slip. In the right light it probably looks as if the wearer is naked when actually everything is pretty much covered up. Pair that with some five inch heels and you have got yourself a brick house. lol The illusion is grand.
I had not sat down five minutes when a guy buys me a drink and this is after I say, "No, thank you." I give the drink to one of the ladies I am with. That "man", that my friend mentioned, was kinda all over me. He asks me to dance, we talk a bit, and I brush him off. He leaves. Later on in the night he comes back and is a bit more aggressive – respectful but aggressive. It gave me the creeps. lol.
I have tried, against my internal hesitation, to do the Single's Ministry thing. I have found that to be lacking in so many areas – poorly planned and executed. I have tried being more open and even tolerating people, behavior, and attitudes that I would have dismissed in a heartbeat in an effort to be more social. Trust me, I have a low threshold for untoward behavior. Yet, I tolerate more. I have been told that I am mean and dismissive. I actively try not to be those things.
The things that I enjoy are a bit more cerebral – museums, plays, writing, traveling, PBS, like-minded people, my family, good music, and dance class. Not exactly activities for casual meeting of strangers.
The honest truth is, when I was out, I felt dishonest. I am not the woman that dress and heels projected. I want to meet someone being me – nerd glasses, afro and all. The man I want to want me has to know that I am more than a big butt and a smile. Trust me that dress I was wearing was a total big butt and smile kinda dress. lol
What is a single, saved girl to do when trying to be social?
I went to Beamers with a friend. It was supposed to be this great buffet for $5.00. It ended up being a camouflaged club but I had on a cute dress and high heels so I was gonna make the best of it.
The music was too loud, the people a little too extra. Chris Rock has a standup bit in which he states he got married so that he would not be the old man in the club, not really old, just too old to be in the club. O. M. Bananas there were so many old men there. I just kept willing myself to enjoy myself but the whole environment was making me uncomfortable.
My coworker later lamented that I kept saying no to every guy that approached me. As soon as I sit down, this guy offers to but me a drink. He proceeds to go get one after I politely declined. I end up giving it to my friend's cousin. This other guy practically begged me to dance and I simple stated no thank you like a million times. He had a nice smile but he seemed like he had lived half his life in a club, starting out when they used to be called juke joints.
I know I am just a church girl who just does not fit in in those type of environments no matter how I try. I just kept thinking that what I want/need is definitely not sitting in here.
So, why did I even go? I just wanted to experience what others were telling me was the place to meet and mingle. It seemed benign enough from their descriptions. I wanted to silence the audible fears that others were blaring at me.
'Felicia, you have to get out and meet people."
"Felicia, there isn't a perfect man out there."
"Felicia, you have to compromise."
Argh!! Felicia has had enough.
This weekend, I will visit a pet store or rescue shelter. I am going cat shopping. I want something in all white. I will name her Fe-fe.
My faithful readers know that I love the now defunct TV show Girlfriends. I wrote a post about. Like to read it? Here it go.
Well, someone today compared me to the main character Joan Clayton and not in a good way. This person – who shall go unnamed because she does not want to be mentioned on my blog – said that, like Joan, I was beautiful, successful, and possessed the inability to find a man due to my unrealistic standards and overall craziness. Can you believe that?
I am totally capable of self-analysis and I can admit that I can be a bit dramatic at times but I do not believe I have unrealistic standards.
Okay, truth moment, I do need a lot of attention. I expect a guy who wants me to really show it. I want to come first. I want him to be God-fearing diseased free, heterosexual, intellectual, financially responsible, over-the- moon about me, love-his-momma-without-being-a-mommas-boy, no-baby-momma-having, Laz Alonso look alike.
Okay, I'll take or leave the Laz Alonso part but ugh! Why must I be antagonized for wanting something good? Does not the Bible say that no good thing will He withhold from him who walks upright?
I was watching this episode of Girlfriends on YouTube – don't judge me! In it, Joan messes over a super nice guy and a super fun guy for the exciting guy who was not all that in to her. She went too far and gave too much only to be let down in the end. I had an epiphany. Oh gosh, I am Joan!
Is not admitting that you have a problem the first step to recovery? I am just still learning how to accept someone's imperfections without accepting less than what I deserve.
Don't judge me. Help me! lol