Cut It Out – My Surgery

Dave Coulier played Joe on the immensely popular sitcom Full House. He would say the  quip, “Cut it out,” while simultaneously doing the hand gestures simulating the act of cutting it out.

I am having a benign tumor removed tomorrow. It is something I noticed 8 or 9 years ago. I had started my weight loss journey and weighed myself every morning after I got out of the shower.  I remember looking in the mirror and noticing something on my back. I strained my neck as much as I could until it was clear that I was not imagining things. There was a big lump on my back.   Every doctor who looked at it said that it was just a common lipoma and I should leave it alone unless it starts to bother me.

My weight loss journey has been a roller coaster ride. An unexpected move, career anxiety, and a breakup caused a serious setback for a recovering emotional eater. I decided to really hit the gym hard and weight lift. I got a workout plan and committed. The more I worked my shoulders, that benign tumor became a literal pain. What the doctors called harmless was impeding my progress. Despite my initial fear of surgery, I made the decision to have it removed.

I was listening to a Pastor Jeffrey A. Johnson on Youtube. He told the story of an eagle who was killed by a fish. The eagle had grabbed the large fish and took flight. A storm came and the eagle began to fall. He could not let the fish go as it had become stuck in his talons. That benign fish, that should have been an easy dinner, was his downfall.

An ex, a behavior, an activity may seem benign at first. A lump that you have grown accustomed to having. This metaphorical lump is hindering your progress. Anything that keeps you from flying is a weight that you must let go. If it seems stuck to you, do like Dave and “cut it out”.


Feeling Extra, Extra Single.

Someone I know is getting married. There is wedding planning discussions all the time, which I sometimes initiate and enjoy. However, this crap has me feeling extra, extra single.

Discussing this extra, extra single phenomenon with a friend. She says, "I was in a meeting and everyone had a wedding ring except 1 senior citizen, a gay guy and me!"

What the heck is going on?

I went to dinner twice – by myself.  I sat at the bar. Why? Because hostesses do not respect you when you dine alone. Now the bar is supposed to be the area where you attract attention, right? Yeah, a guy asked to borrow my salt.

Got an oil change and the guy who complimented my looks last visit, comes and sits behind me as I pay, (he always does this), walks me out and opens my car door. He is super duper cute but he DOES NOT ask me out.

This is kinda sucking big time.


Single, black and not dating anyone yet, still. lol