Category Archives: Marriage

Christian Celibacy – If Meagan Good Can Do It, So Can You

So Meagan Good is getting married and she has not slept with her fiancee. They plan on being together for the first time on their wedding night.

 

From what I can ascertain they have actually been dating for about a year although they have known each other a bit longer. Celibacy will make a man jump the broom fast or keep stepping quick. SN: She met her fiance while filming the movie Jumping the Broom.

Meagan_Good

Celibacy in your relationship is an act of faith. You are believing God that you are going to be married and intimacy is sacred. Put God first, fast and pray. Your first love should be God and then the love you have with your future spouse will be blessed beyond measure.

 

I know a lot of Christians falter in this area but keep trying.

Celibacy rocks!

God’s Promises are Yeah and Amen

Usually this blog is all about me – what I am doing, what I want.This time I wanted to celebrate someone else.

Many of you know that I have journaled my experiences in Dallas, TX since I touched down nearly five years ago. Today I attended a graduation of a friend who moved to Dallas, TX about 1 month earlier than me.

 

I sat and marveled at what God has done in her life. I have told her that I remember our conversation that we had when I had first moved here and she was showing me around town. She stated how she wanted a husband and family. She was in seminary. Here I was sitting, today, in the audience as she received her Master's Degree with her husband and baby sitting to my left.

Godspromises

I marvelled at how faithful God is. I know that I am single with no children but seeing God fulfil promises for others lets me know that he is a promise fulfilling God.

 

I am just glad I was around to see it.

 

The Church Social or Dreaded Singles’ Event Part II

I was pleasantly surpised.

That pretty much summarizes my night at my church's revamped singles' night.

The difference between this and last time – I had table duties.

I got the great luxury of greeting people and explaining the process of creating a name tag, choosing a table, and getting refreshments.

Not so bad right. Well you decide.

Christian dance

There were two sets of praise and worship teams singing songs and whatnot. Great idea except now no one can hear me at the greeting table. I am shouting directions at people. People cannot engage each other in conversation. Everyone is reduced to being a spectator. I get that you want to set the tone of worship but two separate groups singing so many songs just seems like a disjointed concert.

There was a spoken word segment with one poet/rapper dude. Yep just one.

The best part of the night (and a keeper for future events) was a panel of two women and two elders answering questions from singles. I was getting some inciteful godly advice when someone asks, "What does the bible say about dating relatives?"

*crickets*

The night ended on kind of a dud with a few people being asked to give their testimonies. The idea being that we need to know what we have been through to bond or every thorn has a rose or some equally unfitting cliche. It probably would not have been so bad but these folks had gone through rape, incest, abuse, suicidal thoughts. Not really a pick-me-upper.

I stayed and helped clean up.

Positive: I did meet a few fun people. I signed up to facilitate a small group.

Not so positivie: Did not meet any potentials. Was not even sure there were any potentials there. Ratio of women to men still 80:20. Subtract the married, crazy and obviosly gay – 90:10.

Still par for the course but I have hope for the future

P.S. I was super cute! lol This goes under "Positive".

Feeling Extra, Extra Single.

Someone I know is getting married. There is wedding planning discussions all the time, which I sometimes initiate and enjoy. However, this crap has me feeling extra, extra single.

Discussing this extra, extra single phenomenon with a friend. She says, "I was in a meeting and everyone had a wedding ring except 1 senior citizen, a gay guy and me!"

What the heck is going on?

I went to dinner twice – by myself.  I sat at the bar. Why? Because hostesses do not respect you when you dine alone. Now the bar is supposed to be the area where you attract attention, right? Yeah, a guy asked to borrow my salt.

Got an oil change and the guy who complimented my looks last visit, comes and sits behind me as I pay, (he always does this), walks me out and opens my car door. He is super duper cute but he DOES NOT ask me out.

This is kinda sucking big time.

Signed,

Single, black and not dating anyone yet, still. lol

But He Has Potential!

But He Had Potential.

http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/GpSuYZ2j5Ww   
 
When it comes to attraction to a man, what a woman  likes at 18 is different than what she likes at 30. If I could impart any aged wisdom to young women looking for a mate – look with your more mature lens. Project your future.

Maybe he is not the typical captain of the football team but captain of the chess club. Maybe his hair does lay down with baby oil but rises like steel wool but he has potential. He may be nerdy now but does he have "potential"?
 
When you are younger, you go for that spark but as you mature you choose what is smart. Like Lauryn Hill said,
 
           

           "What you want might make you cry
            What you need might pass you by
            If you don't catch it,
            If you don't catch it,
            And what you need ironically
            Will turn out what you want to be
            If you just let it,
            If you just let it"

 

I love that youtube clip. I know Sherri is kicking herself about shading Hill Harper. Talk about potential.

Great Expectations Parte Deux

I love my blog.

It gives me the ability to peer back into my life to the date and time and really SEE how God works things out for me.

Peep this, on 11/08/10 I wrote a post entitled Great Expectations. In said post, I stated what I expected from God and what I think God expects from me – faithfulness. God is ever faithful, I am the one who continuously falls short. Well in this post I also ask God for a new job with great benefits and 1 year nearly to the DAY, I started a new job with GREAT benefits.

*In my Joey Lawrence voice* Whoa!

Ugh! Deja vu all over again!

Here I am with a list of desires from God and my second week in a row not being faithful – in worship, in giving.

Thank God for Jesus – His grace is sufficient for someone imperfect like me.

What I expect from God is His continued grace and mercy for me and my family, an amazing husband prefaced by a serendipitous encounter (*insider*), great friends, and my family together with me again. I want my business and book to be a great success bigger than my wildest dreams. After all, I am ready!

Hopealive

Now that is a whopper of a list but God created the universe surely he can handle my little world.

P.S. I am really excited now.

Thanks to all of my blog readers, even when you dont comment. I know you are there.

Uncertainty and Moving Forward

I am always attempting to predict the future. I put off things I really want to do afraid that once I commit something in my situation will change and I won't be able to follow through.

The big questions of my life have centered around employment and where to live. I am fairly convinced that God has me in Dallas but employment – still a conundrum.

The irony is I am still in relatively the same place after 4 years, no big life changes yet. So why do I let this uncertainty stop my plans?

OAN: This girl from undergrad moved to Texas around the same time that I did. She was really nice and helped me navigate my new city.

I remember this one particular drive, she lamented being single. She mentioned a mutual friend of ours who was married and at the time pregnant with her first child. During our drive she said aloud that she really wanted that – a husband and family. I am so bad because I remember thinking – poor girl may not ever happen. I guess I was a bit jaded about that stuff then.

Fast forward and she is married and just had a beautiful baby boy. I was on the book of the face and looking at pictures of the tiny tot. On one hand, I was super excited and happy for her and on another I was kinda bummed out by me. I thought God am I remedial? Why am I not moving forward?

Maybe it's the doubt and uncertainty that causes me not to commit to anything or even say yes when a guy asks me out. IDK. I know the money thing always throws me for a loop. I need to make more money so I am always trying to find a better gig. This leads to more uncertainty. Ugh!

I wish one of my readers was a psychologist because I really need to figure this thing out, preferably, before age forty.

Is Celibacy A Necessity For the Single Christian?

You all should know my view on this but for discussion's sake, I'll entertain the question.

I grew up in the holy, sanctified Church of God in Christ. Girls wore no pants, make up. We were not allowed to listen to secular music. Everyone knew that sex before marriage was a grave sin.

Times have changed in the COGIC world and christiandom at large. It's not uncommon for many women to have a little Mac in their bag next to that well-worn and highlighted King James.

But how relaxed is too lax?

I have met many Christians with varying beliefs on drinking, tithing, clothes and music. I choose not to judge either way. Are there somethings that are black or white, yes or no?

I was listening to a woman who was upset that the man she had been dating and sleeping with had gotten her and 2 other women pregnant. She expressed shock over this man who knew the Word in and out. Her shock was at the fact that he was not faithful to her.

I believe the real commitment of a celibate life is not between two individuals but between you and God.  (Thanks The Old Black Church) So if you are not faithful to God, how can you be faithful to another flawed human being?

Let that marinate, while I sip some tea.  

A Christian follows Christ, follows the words of Christ i.e. the Bible.

I think a lot of Christians find sex a hard thing to give up especially when it's so easy to give in to. Many are not taught how to live a celibate life. Sex is the ultimate don't ask, don't tell for some.

And then there are those statistics. Like churches being up to 80 percent women, 70 percent of black women never getting married. You hear that long enough and even the mose faithful can feel pressured to settle for "shacking" lol. How old is that term?  Yet, some Christians love the Lord, love the Word and a little something else. lol

What say you?

 

The Art of Prayer

Prayer really does work so why do I forget to do it sometimes?

I used to pray a lot and about everything. I did not always get what I wanted but I always got an answer.

Lately, I have been very frustrated about things – my professional life, love life, finances. I kept thinking how in my own strength I could change these things. Until I had a FaceBook epiphany.

Yes, a FaceBook Epiphanyc – yes I just coined that phrase, copyright pending. This occurs when a level headed friend who is not familiar with your situation says something simple that seems to have been the evident answer you could not receive.

Prayer
 

The friend just plainly responded, "Let's pray." Light bulb moment.

I immediately stopped what I was doing and prayed about the situation. Why fret and worry about others' actions that you cannot control? The bible says,

"1The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will." Proverbs 21:1

 I write all of this to say whether waiting to hear from a job, a friend, a loved one, prayer is still the best option. Each individual involved has their own mind and reasoning for doing things that you cannot control. I prayed for God's will in every area so that no matter what I will have peace about the situation. This even goes for my love life. I want God's will and direction for that, too.

It is time I spent more time practicing my art – the art of prayer.

While I Was Absent. . .

. . .some exciting things have happened.

My mom got married!!!!! I flew to Chicago, was her maid of honor, and sang at the wedding!!!

God is good.

Everything was so perfect. My mom was simply radiant. I don't think I have ever seen her that happy.

I have a few weeks left at my internship. Until then, I am actively seeking employment.

No new developments in the love life (or lack thereof), but I'm chilling.

What's been up with you guys?