I have never been a sad-faced depressed gal around V-Day but this one was bit difficult. I got up early to catch the morning service. I got in my car even drove around the block but the fog was so heavy I could barely see in front of me. So, I grab breakfast and headed home.
Took a nap and tried again at eleven o'clock. I sat in service without really feeling I was there. Maybe I should have gone to The Potter's House.
Anyway, I think I am still reeling from news that my friend from high school died. This is the same friend who was helping me with my book. Well, she took her own life. I found this out via a direct message on Facebook. This is the same friend who I reconnected with maybe a year and a half-ago. According to her sister, whom the message came from, she was battling depression.
It's weird because right around the time she must have done this. I spoked to her on the phone and she sounded distant, really distant. I just told her that I was checking in on her and hoped she was okay. She said, thanks for checking in on me. That was really it.
I did not know who to tell because my mom was still getting over the loss of her two friends from last year. I did not want to keep being the bearer of bad news.
I, finally told my mom. Who just said, "Baby, I know how you feel." She also told me that it is good to talk to people and not carry around things inside.
Initially, I was hurt, then confused and then slightly angry at her and myself. Why did I not pick up on something deeper when I spoke to her? Then I felt the Lord give me peace. I don't know how to explain it. It's odd when we fight for life and someone else gives up. I am not judging her, just sorry it happened.
I feel better writing about it – freer.
I am grateful that my family is alive and safe. I am grateful for the friends I do have. I am grateful for the knowledge of God through Christ. It has helped me in many difficult times, such as now.
A few months ago someone tweeted me (through DM’s) early in the morning that she was receiving messages from someone who was expressing suicidal thoughts. Being early in the morning and not wanting to be bothered, I simply advised her that she should contact the police if she felt that her friend was serious.
A few weeks ago someone who also knows the person who DMed me, told me that the person expressing the suicidal thoughts had actually committed suicide about a month later.
To be honest, it really gave me a sick feeling. I wonder if we are talking about the same person, because I think that person who took her life lived down in Texas. Probably a long shot, but in either case, suicide is very tragic.
I had no idea who this person was who took their life, yet I still felt sick. That is the power of this wicked act, it negatively effects even perfect strangers.
Anyway, what was I to do? The bible says to warn those who are in danger, and if they don’t listen, their blood is on their own hands:
When I say unto the wicked, Thou shalt surely die; and thou givest him not warning, nor speakest to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life; the same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at thine hand. Yet if thou warn the wicked, and he turn not from his wickedness, nor from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but thou hast delivered thy soul. Ezekiel 3:18,19
I advised the authorities be contacted if she felt the threat was serious, and I do believe at that time she did call the police.
In the end, we do our best, put the rest in God’s hands and have peace no matter what happens.
Timothy
No she did not live in Texas. I spoke to her many times about God and just life. She had doctors advising her and they kept changing her perscriptions. The meds had side effects. I think that may have conrtibuted to it a lot. The
Very sorry to hear about your friend. I hope u feel better.
Thanks, C1. I am feeling better.