This is in reference to the Jennifer Hudson tragedy that has unfolded this weekend. I waited to write about it until all of the facts were in.
To recap, Hudson's mother, brother, and now nephew have been killed in a horribly tragic incident. The sister of Hudson, Julia's estranged husband William Balfour, is being held on an existing warrant.
Balfour, Mr. Thugnificent himself, is an ex-con, who did seven years for ATTEMPTED MURDER and CAR JACKING, was paroled in 2006. Julia couldn't wait to scoop up this gem. She introduced this pariah to her family.
Although, I don't blame Julia for this tragedy, William' is clearly guilty, but she must bear some responsibility for the consequences of her poor choices. I say this because I am from the west side of Chicago and I have seen this behavior all of my life. Women choose to love bad guys.
We wonder why little boys want to grow up to be thugs. Well for one we glorify thugs, we give them awards(gangsta rap), and we (women) date them.
I have seen beautiful, smart, intelligent women in ABUSIVE relationships with Mr. Thugnificent. Why? Well, the thugs are usually drug dealers/gang bangers who have money to throw at them. But, angry, violent people are not angry and violent in a vacuum. They are usually angry and violent in all aspects of their lives. These losers have NOTHING to lose.
What was it for William Balfour to kill an entire family? He had no love, no money, no job, no prospects, no respect, no morals. So again I ask, what did he have to lose? He is going back to what he knows best, JAIL.
I believe women have so much latent power that we don't even realize. Guys do a lot of things trying to win, impress us. I sincerely believe that if women stop dating thugs, degenerates, losers that would be an disincentive for that behavior.
This is sad beyond words, but not uncommon. It will continue as long as we make poor choices in life and love. Unfortunately, the family has to bear the fallout.
“I believe women have so much latent power that we don’t even realize. Guys do a lot of things trying to win, impress us. I sincerely believe that if women stop dating thugs, degenerates, losers that would be an disincentive for that behavior.”
Oh Taula I could not agree more with the above statement. I think for some women they automatically believe if they get with a “square type” that there won’t be any fireworks, no excitement. Nothing could be further from the truth. My husband was raised in the hood but not part of the hood. He knew at a young age that education was going to be his ticket.
I think some of us black women do a disservice to the good black men by thinking they can’t hold it down because the may be squarish. Trust me I THINK and my family THINKS my husband is a square but, when it come time to lay it down he can and has if need be. I never have to worry if he is going to let something ride, he is intelligent, well mannered, respectful, and when it comes to me he is not going to let anyone disrespect me. Ladies wake up!
Thanks Taula for this post. We women have more power than we think it is time we started to use it to get more than a pair of shoes or a designer purse. We can find good Black men if that is what we demand from them, stop letting them slide by. I would rather have no man than a piece of one.
Jazzy:
It’s crazy, but I am thank God for Barack Obama, Roland Martin, Don Lemon, all of these ‘square’ brothas who are holding it down intellectually. That is SOOO attractive to me. That’s the kinda guy I want.
Not some pants hanging, grill wearing deginerate.
Ms. Talulazoeapple, to admire men like Barack Obama, and I would also say Tavis Smiley, is not “crazy” at all. I also agree with you and “Jazzy” in that, in general, women tend to lean away from nice, ” ‘square type’ ” guys because they feel that such guys are nerdy, geeky, and boring. Please allow me to tell you a story that my wife once told me about a guy she started to go out on dates with way before we even met:
My wife said that she went out with the guy the first time, then went out with him the second time. During that third date, the guy tells my wife, ” Gee, this is our third date and I haven’t had to hit you yet!” My wife said that her mind told her, “RED FLAG!!” The watch words here ladies is “hit” and “yet”. Clearly, he’s “hit” women in the past and, at some point in the future, he would have “hit” my wife. Ladies, almost right away, every guy will give out signs as to what he’s all about. Just be intelligent enough to recognize those signs for what they are… warnings that trouble is up ahead.
Smooth:
WOW. Just WOW.
I am glad she left. SMH
Got here via The Breaking Point.
I couldn’t agree with you more regarding Julia. As soon as the news broke I told my cousin it has to be someone they know. When details emerged about Balfour’s history, I couldn’t help but think she married someone who spent seven years in prison for attempted murder. She introduced this killer to her family. What was she thinking? This is tragic, but I hope it serves as a wake-up call to women who think a thug is what they need in their lives.
Natasha:
I hope and pray that we women will WAKE UP!