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Me: Hello Senator it’s an honor to meet you.

McCain: Hello there youngun. Good to be here.

Me: A lot has been said about you. I would like you to define yourself. Describe a day in the life of John McCain.

McCain: Well, er uh, Cindy comes in from her wing of the house and resuscitates me, pops my Duracell into the old pacemaker and sits me on the lawn until noon. Then one of my campaign workers briefs me on what to say and I forget so he writes it on my hand.

Me: OOOKAAY. How do you feel about Obama?

McCain: I love her very much. She is 97 years old ya know.

Me: No Senator, Obama. I said Obama.

McCain: Oh, I thought you said yo’ mama. I am hip to the lingo of these whipper snappers. Word to your momma.

Me: Wow. How do you respond to criticism over the war in Iraq. . . Senator? Senator? Hey somebody get some help over here!!!

Enters Cindy McCain with a defibrillator and jolts him back to life.

McCain: What was that question again?

*Just in case you haven’t figured it out. This is completely fictional.*